Page 42 of Lolli-Gag
“N-no, Mama. Please no,” I beg, and she steps in my space, wrapping her fist in my white hair.
“You came out screaming and you never stopped. Hold her down,”she tells them, and I try to pull away but the straps hold me in place. There are straps in the trailer now. On the floor. On the walls. On my skin. Everywhere.“No one loves noisy girls,”she whispers, licking the side of my face. My eyes burn as tears fall down my cheeks.
“Please let me go. Don’t let them touch me. It hurts. Please mama,” I beg, but she leans in, her rancid breath crawling over my skin.
“I love it when it hurts, especially when it burns.”She laughs, and I scream. The kitchen light flickers. The oven light glows behind her like a second sun.
“Wake up,”Jethro says.
“I can’t,” I whimper as hands touch me.
“You can!” he yells, then my mother’s hand strokes my hair. I flinch so hard the world jumps and everything flickers.
“Poor Logan. Always making up monsters because she can’t admit the worst one was her mommy,”she mocks as more hands touch me, pinch me, and dig into my skin.
“No! Make it stop. Make it stop!” I scream again, but her laughter echoes in my mind.
“You made them up too. Didn’t you?”she growls, and my eyes snap open.“Now they’re mine!”She smiles as she straddles Killian's lap then takes Jagger's cock into her mouth while Lucifer sinks into her ass, but Vinny… Vinny guides her hand to his dick then looks me deep in my eyes, moaning loudly.“They could never love a crazy girl like you. No one could,”she groans, and I cry, letting the tears slip. Then suddenly, the kitchen, the trailer, my mother, and the guys just disappear, sending me into complete darkness. I thrash against my restraints and a blinding white light has me thrusted into another room, one I’ve never seen before, but there in the corner is Jethro. He stands quickly, his hand hovering near mine.
“She lies. Don’t believe her,”he says as my lips shake.
“What if she doesn’t?” I ask, and his face changes. Not to anger or pity but to sadness.
“Then we find the truth.”
“I don’t want it if it means I’m alone,” I whisper, and he leans closer, brushing his cold cheek against mine.
“You’re not alone,”he says, and I shiver.
“I am. No one loves me,” I say, and the room stills, even the cracks stop moving. My mother’s laugh echoes in the distance.
Jethro turns his head slowly.“That is a lie I will not let live.”Then the blackness snaps, and I wake up gasping for air. My hands fly to my wrists. No straps. Chest—free. My ankles… free. I sit up too fast and nearly fall off the bed. The room is normal again. As normal as a room can be when it knows too much.
No orderlies. No mother. No boys. Just me and stale air. Just the ghost of lukewarm water drying on my skin. My face feels naked as I lift my fingers to my cheek. No paint. No smile. My throat tightens again as the door buzzes making me flinch.
“Therapy,” someone calls from the hall.Dr. Petrova and circle time.I get up and do my daily routine. Slather on the makeup and hide all my imperfections. I wait for Axel's soft shuffle outside my door. Nothing. Axel always drags one foot when he walks… just a little. I listen… but nothing. I’m really not in the mood to talk—to pretend I’m not a monster during circle time.
After I finish, I lean in and listen for the hum of my guys, but again. Nothing, just Hillsboro breathing. I walk into the hallway looking left and right. “Axel?” I whisper, but no answer. Jethro doesn’t even say anything. That scares me. The hallway feels longer than yesterday, or maybe I’m smaller. I stop at Brielle’s room but her door is locked.Shit! That’s not good.
The creatures shuffle towards the therapy wing. Some mumble. Some stare. Becky laughs into her hands like she’s holding a secret, then there’s Ellie still telling everyone to eat their hands.
I can’t help but look for Axel and the guys but every empty doorway feels like a missing tooth. Every corner feels like it should give me one of them. But there’s only blank space.
We reach the therapy room and the chairs are already in a circle. Dr. Petrova looks up at me when I enter, placing down his pen.
“Good morning, Logan,” he says, and I sit down without saying a word. He huffs, and I roll my eyes. “Why so much make up, Logan?” he asks, and my eyes snap to him then narrow.
“To hide the scars left by my mother. It’s not everyday you come across a girl riddled with burn marks because her mother tried to cook her. That a good enough answer for you doc?” I spit, and he takes a deep breath.
“You know that’s not the story,” he says, and I growl.
“It is. I don’t care what you say. You weren’t there,” I grit, but he doesn’t answer. He waits for everyone else to sit, and I look around the room. “Where’s Axel?” I ask.
“He will not be joining us today,” he says with annoyance as my fingers curl around the edge of the chair.
“Why?”
“He’s unavailable.”
