Page 14 of Lolli-Gag
“Better,”the voice hums, satisfied by my actions.“There you go.”
I flex my hand, ignoring the sting. This isn’t new. None of it is. Waking up angry, breaking things, trying to outrun something that’s already inside me. Trauma of the past. Still lingering, still taunting my every waking breath. Been doing it since before this place. Before the charges—the cuffs. Back when everything was louder—messier, even before Vinny was around. The thought hits me straight in the gut but I shove it down. He was the only one to quiet the rage. Does it ever stay down? No. Him and I weren’t anything… not really—just late nights, dim rooms, too much silence between words. He didn't talk much. He didn’t need to. Neither did I. It worked. No expectations. No questions. No pretending to be anything else. Just—heat, tension, and something that didn’t feel like everything was about to explode. Until it did. It always does. He disappeared like smoke, like he was never really there. I didn’t chase him. Didn’t ask questions—I just didn’t care. Well, that’s what I told myself.
“Liar,”the voice mutters.
“Shut up.” Grabbing a shirt, I pull it over my head as the door buzzes. Unlocking. I’m in a different room than everyone else.I don’t think their doors buzz like mine does. A guard steps in, eyeing me.
“No bullshit today, Holmes. Time to line up,” he states, and I grin, walking towards him.
The hallway is already alive. Too many bodies, extremely noisy, but I push through, my shoulders hitting people who don’t move fast enough.
“Stay in line!” the guard yells, but I don’t listen. I’m a man on a mission and I don’t give a fuck about the rules of this place.
“Watch it—”
“Back off—”
“Crazy bastard—”
Good. Let them talk.
“Break one,”the voice suggests.
“Not yet,” I grumble as I look in every corner, at every door—every shadow. Looking for her. My fists tighten at my sides. She’s not here.
The cafeteria doors come into view but my steps don’t falter as I shove through the entrance. The noise hits me like a gut punch. I scan the room and see Killian is already here, sitting straight, watching everything. Lucifer is next to him relaxed and smiling like this is his personal entertainment. My eyes fly to her seat—empty. My jaw tightens and my fingers flex as I grab a tray without looking. Food slops onto it, then I walk straight to the table, slamming my metal tray hard against the wood. Harder than it needs to but I don’t care. No one looks at me anyways.They learned. And quickly at that.
“Hit something,”the voice tells me, and I roll my eyes.
“Working on it,” I mumble as I look down at my food. Eggs—grey, cold, and useless. I stab into them anyway and they fall apart like they are already dead. Seems fitting for this place.
She’s not here. That’s the problem—the only problem.
“They took her, and you let them,”the voice reminds me as my grip on the fork tightens, bending, but doesn’t break. They are idiots for giving us anything metal. I can kill someone with this fork, and they will be the only ones to blame.
Across the table, Killian doesn’t eat; he just continues to watch the room, creating a chart in his brain, memorizing everything for a later date.
“Your agitation is inefficient,” he says without looking at me. I glare at him, wanting to use this fork to pluck his eyeballs out.
“Your face is inefficient,” I spit, but he doesn’t react, just shifts his gaze slightly.
“She’s been removed from standard circulation,” he continues calmly. “Which implies—”
“I don’t care what it implies,” I grit, my voice cracking through the table like a gunshot. Lucifer smiles. He’s so fucking annoying. Like this is all exactly what he wanted.
“You care?” he asks
“He sees it. He sees you losing it,”the voice laughs, and I slam my hand on the table, making everyone’s trays jump. Someone across the room jumps.Good.
“Did you hear her? Because I did, and you both know what shit like that does to me, so I will ask again. Where is she?” I snap, and Lucifer leans back, hands folded like he’s about to enjoy this.
“Not here,” he says, and I stand, causing the metal chair to scrape across the floor, which makes Killian flinch. The room shifts, and the guards seem on alert.
“Do it. Make them talk,”the voice hisses. I lean forward but Killian sees me going for Lucifer and moves quickly, catching my wrist with his hand.
“Impulse will not retrieve her,” he says, and I rip my arm free.
“Neither will sitting here,” I spit as he sits back down, studying me.
