Page 75 of My Addiction
I think about it for a minute. It really doesn’t matter where we are as long as we are together. I wanted the solitude of the apartment with Ronan and Ollie. I think it’s more of getting back to normalcy and thinking about everything. Being here reminds me that we are still in danger. It’s a fact that is true no matter where we are.
“Do you think it’s best to stay here?”
“Yes.”
“Then we stay. I wish I had some of my clothes. I don’t know what you guys were fed as kids, but I won’t fit into anything of yours.”
“I’d like you in my clothes,” Ronan says with a grin.
“I’m sure you would, but I’m not sure anyone would appreciate my ass on display when the pants fall off me.” I grin back.
“You’re right. While you get Ollie down, I’ll run and get your bags. Then, when I get back, you and I crawl into bed, and I will hold you all night.”
Just hearing him say it makes something inside me soften completely. He remembered. Out of everything happening, out of all the chaos and danger and everything else pulling at his attention, he still remembered what I asked for. The thought wraps around my chest and squeezes. No one remembers things for me. No one pays attention like that. But Ronan does.
And standing here looking at him, I can’t stop the overwhelming thought that he’s exactly what I’ve always needed, even before I knew I was allowed to want it.
Chapter 42
Ronan
“Hey Siri,” I call out over my car’s Bluetooth. “Do babies imprint?”
Babies do not imprint like animals. They do form attachments to their primary caregivers, usually their mother or father. Would you like to hear the reference articles?
“No.”
So this is an attachment. Ollie is attached to me. The thought settles somewhere warm in my chest. I’m surprisingly okay with it. He’s a good baby. Even if my shin disagrees. But still a good one.
He’s smart too. The fact that he can tell Liam and me apart is honestly impressive. Mom and Dad joke all the time that they probably mixed us up a few times when we were babies because even they couldn’t always tell us apart.
I’ve never thought much about my future. Not really. I never pictured myself with a family of my own. Even now, after spending time with Ollie, the thought of having children still makes something uneasy move through me. There’s too much noise. Too much mess. Too much spit. But the thought of Ollie not being in my life anymore, of not hearing him babble or watching him glare at me when Colton gets too close, makessomething in my chest tighten painfully. Because somewhere along the way, he stopped feeling like Colton’s responsibility. He started feeling like mine too.
There’s a lot that needs to change in my life now that Colton and Ollie are really going to be part of it. The familiar need for lists starts settling into my head before I’m even halfway back to the apartment. Spreadsheets. Schedules. Plans.
The apartment is the first problem. Is it big enough? Do we need a house instead? A yard would be good for Ollie. Somewhere he can run around and play without Colton worrying every second that someone is going to take him. Then there are pets. God. What if he wants a dog? I know I would get him one immediately if he asked, but dogs shed, and cats shed, and both are messy in ways that already make me uncomfortable just thinking about them. Maybe a fish. Fish seem manageable.
Then there’s school. How old is he when that starts? There are baby schools, I think. I’ll have to research it. The thought of strangers taking care of him all day makes something in my chest tighten in a way I don’t like. I don’t want strangers around him.
I pull into the parking garage, but my mind is still stuck on houses and schools and whether fish are low-maintenance enough to count as a first pet.
The second I shut the car door, I know I’ve made a mistake. The sharp metallic click behind me is unmistakable. A gun. I freeze. Slowly, I raise my hands and turn around. Moses and Ezra are standing a few feet away. Both of them look different. The long hair is gone. So are the beards. But I know them instantly anyway. Ezra’s gun is aimed straight at my chest. For a second, nobody says anything.
Moses is staring at my car instead, his eyes fixed on the dark windows. Then I understand. He thinks Colton and Ollie are with me.
“So what’s the fucking plan now?” I ask calmly.
When I left the house, I didn’t tell Taylor where I was going. I didn’t bring security. I didn’t think I needed to. I don’t own this building. I don’t control the cameras, the exits, or who comes and goes. For the first time in a long time, I’m completely on my own.
Ezra’s hand is shaking as he holds the gun. Not much. Just enough to make me pay attention to it. My cell phone vibrates against my thigh. I don’t make a move toward it. Neither of the assholes seems to notice.
“Where’s Colton and the baby?” Moses asks.
The sound of Colton’s name coming out of his mouth makes something violent rise inside me. Like he has any right to say it. Like he has any right to know where they are.
“Somewhere you can’t touch them.”
“You think you’re so smart.” Moses takes a step closer. “You have no idea who you’re messing with. I know exactly who you are and how much your family is worth.”
