Page 80 of My Addiction
Ollie pauses just inside the doorway, looking around at the room full of people. There are so many faces, so many strangers smiling at him, and I see the exact second it becomes too much. His little lip pokes out. His steps stop. Fear flashes across his face so quickly it feels like a knife to my chest. Before I can think better of it, I step out from my place and move closer so he can see me. His whole face changes the second he does.
“Papa!” he yells across the room, his voice carrying over the guests’ laughter.
Then he runs. His legs are steadier now than they used to be, but there is still that little toddler wobble to him as he hurries toward me. I bend down and scoop him into my arms. It is completely off script. I don’t give a fuck.
I saw the fear in his eyes, and there is no world in which I would leave him standing there alone when I can fix it. Declan and Xavier will just have to deal with it. It was Xavier’s idea to make an eighteen-month-old the ring bearer in the first place.
Once I’m back in line, Ollie secure in my arms, he pushes the pillow with the rings toward Conor.
“Unc Con,” Ollie says to get his attention. See, my boy knows what he’s supposed to do. Conor takes the rings and puts them in his pocket. We all watch as first Blake, then Jessie, walk in and take their place on the other side of Declan.
The music changes, and Xavier walks into the ballroom. I glance over at Declan automatically. The look on his face when he sees Xavier in the white tux would have amused me before. Now it just makes something settle heavily in my chest. Because I know that is exactly how I’m going to look when Colton walks down the aisle toward me one day.
Xavier is escorted by Mom and Dad. Apparently, there still hasn’t been any reconciliation between him and his mother. At the front of the room, there’s a portrait of his family from before everything happened, sitting in the place where they would have been. The reminder of it all hangs quietly in the room, bittersweet and impossible to ignore. The ceremony itself is short, but neither of them seems to notice. They only have eyes for each other.
I watch Colton while Declan and Xavier say their vows, and I know with absolute certainty that one day it will be me standingacross from him, promising myself to him in front of everyone we love.
I know already that I’ll never get enough of him because he is my addiction.
