Page 33 of My Addiction
He kisses me hard, demanding, and I relish it. He is owning me with this kiss. I don’t pull away, I actively seek it. His hand leaves my throat, and I have to hold in a whimper of disappointment. Then his hands move to the buttons of my shirt. He’s halfway down them.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking care of what’s mine.” His voice is predatory when he says it. A growl that makes my stomach swoop and my breath catch. He called me his. A shiver I can’t stop rolls down my spine.
My shirt falls open, exposing my chest. His kisses move from my neck to my nipple. It feels like he is marking me. Staking his claim. The sensations running through me overwhelm me. It’s too much and not enough at the same time. My hand goes to the back of Ronan’s head to pull him closer.
“Lean back.” He commands, and I obey willingly. Holding myself up on my elbows, I watch him. Watch his eyes take in every inch of me.
He quickly opens my pants, his mouth never leaving my skin. The cool air hits my overheated skin. My cock is harder than it has ever been in my life. His large calloused palm runs over me through my boxers. The heat of his touch penetrates my skin and sets it on fire. My head drops back, and I release a moan. I’ve never been touched by another person. Ronan presses his nose into my groin and breathes deeply.
“Lift your hips for me.” Again, I obey without thought or question. He lowers my pants and boxers to the middle of my thighs. His hands slide up my hips. His movements stop. He stares at my crotch like he forgot what he was doing.
“You don’t have to…” My words get lost in my throat as he grips the base of my cock. His hand moves up and then down. Precum drips from my tip. A twist of his wrist on the next stroke gathers it and makes the slide of his hand glide more easily. This is my torture. This is my salvation.
He cups my heavy balls in his other hand with a gentle squeeze. My breathing picks up. My toes curl.
“Fuck, Ronan, I’m gonna…”
“Look at me. Eyes on me.” Ronan growls out. We lock eyes, and that’s all it takes for me to lose it all. My stomach muscles contract, my thighs stiffen, and spots dance at the periphery of my vision. What is happening to my body? A strange tingling sensation starts at the base of my spine and travels through me. I’ve jerked off before, but it’s never been like this.
“Fuck.” I cum so hard that my mind goes blank. The only thing I see is Ronan, his eyes on mine.
I break eye contact and let my head roll back. My brain is fuzzy; it takes me a minute to register that he is cleaning up my mess with a wet wipe. With effort, I pull my gaze back to him. There is a look on his face as he finishes cleaning me up, and I don’t understand it. Just a few minutes ago, he was intense, and now a switch has been flipped. He’s all business. Ronan has asked several times what my expression means or what I’m thinking. For the sake of whatever the fuck is happening between us, I’m going to have to pay attention to him as well.
He buttons my shirt and then helps me stand. My legs are like jelly, unsteady for a beat. His large hand steadies me. Withdeliberate movements, he pulls my boxers and pants back into place, carefully tucking in my now spent cock. There’s a large bulge in the front of his dress slacks. My hand moves to his belt, but he stops me with a hand on my wrist.
“Don’t you want me to take care of you?”
“Not now,” he says as he finishes buckling my belt.
I deflate a little. Ronan has given and shown me so much over such a short time. I’ve given him nothing in return. He said I’m his, he claimed me. Does he not want to be mine, too? My shoulders slump.
“Look at me, Colton.” Again, my body obeys without hesitation. “What just happened? What just went through your head?”
“I don’t know,” I say quietly as I start to turn away from him. Embarrassment is evident on my face. He grips my throat again, the sensation calms me for reasons I can’t fathom.
“Tell me, Colton.”
Fine, if that’s how he wants it, I’ll lay it all out there.
“You just basically claimed me. Told me I was yours. But you don’t want me to touch you. I know I’m inexperienced, but isn’t that the way it works? Or do you just get off on dominating me and controlling every fucking thing?” I try to move away again, but his hand stays steady. His eyes are hard on mine. I’ve seen this look before; it’s his I’m processing look.
“I did claim you, and you are mine. You will touch me. If you do it now, I won’t hold back. When I fuck you, Colton, you won’t question what we are again. And it won’t be in an office. It’ll be where I can take my time with you. ”
I swallow hard against his hand. His words, although harsh, are doing something to me I can’t explain. He hits the button to release the door lock.
“Let’s get the information. It’s almost lunch time, and you’ll want to check on Ollie.”
The second he says Ollie’s name, guilt crashes into me so hard it makes my stomach twist. For the first time in a year, I forgot. Forgot about the danger hanging over us. Forgot about checking the time and planning the next step and making sure Ollie was okay every second of every day.
For a little while, all I could think about was Ronan. The way he touched me. The way he looked at me. The way he made me feel like I mattered. Shame burns hot under my skin. What kind of person forgets about the person depending on them most?
Chapter 17
Ronan
The Children of the Fallen. The name alone tells me everything I need to know. Groups like this always hide behind the veil of faith to get obedience. Their website talks about sin, corruption, and salvation, but it’s just conditioning, isolation, and control. They don’t want believers. They want power.
