Page 84 of What If We Break?
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BROOKLYN
“Then I was thinking, what about….” I swiped to the next page of my PowerPoint presentation, and suddenly a picture of an enormous castle showed up on the TV. “Château de Challain.”
Grey’s face didn’t waver, however, Luan started to laugh hysterically.
“Man, it’s a good thing we’re not paying for that wedding, huh, Grey Davis?” Luan said and nudged his husband in the side with his elbow.
“You don’t like it?” I asked, my smile fading. My eyes wandered over to my father, who’d been silently crying as I broke down half of the money I was planning to spend on my wedding dress.
Reece and my wedding wasn’t even in sight yet. In fact, we hadn’t even talked about it ever since we’d gotten engaged, but that didn’t stop me from planning our wedding.
“It sounds… expensive,” Luan replied. “But amazing.”
I looked at Grey, waiting for his thoughts.
“It’s certainly you,” Grey said. “What does Reece think about it anyway?”
I took a seat on the floor in front of the TV. “We haven’ttalked about it yet.” I was fully planning on talking to him about it. I wouldn’t make any decisions about our wedding without talking to him about them first. The problem was that he barely had time to sit down with me just to talk.
“Don’t you think Reece should be okay with your plans first before you have your mind set on a really expensive wedding in a castle?” Dad asked.
“And a wedding dress that looks like it weighs about as much as you do,” Grey added.
“Let the girl dream!” Luan groaned, rolling his eyes. “It’s her wedding. Reece doesn’t have a say in it.”
“He’s a Carter,” Aaron threw into the mix. “Carters don’t have shit to say, they just pay for it. I mean, do you seriously think Colin had a single say in his wedding except that he was getting married? I don’t think so. Why would Reece have more rights?”
“That’s why I love you.” I grinned at Aaron. “You’re always down to insult the Carters with me.”
Before Aaron could reply anything, Dad cut in. “Brooke, I’m not saying I wouldn’t pay for all of it, but I know you. You’re saying you don’t care about what Reece thinks now, and then you’ll cry yourself to sleep for the next ten years, wondering if Reece is mad at you because you didn’t ask him ifyourdream wedding was okay with him.”
A slight, dreadful shiver ran down my spine. Dad was right. As much as I always tried to ignore that unwell feeling in my stomach, and make decisions based on whatIwanted, it would haunt me in my sleep for years.
It got easier the older I got, but major decisions like a wedding were definitely going to give me a bad time if I decided all this by myself.
I could picture the venue, could imagine how amazing our day was going to be… but the ache in my stomach was also slowly creeping in to ruin it all already. The fear, those voices that were occupying my head would never leave. Not until the day of, or soon after. A wedding was a huge thing, and I couldn’t live with myself, thinking Reece didn’t like it.
It was a good thing I only wanted to know what my family thought about my plans before I spoke to Reece about them and made amends. The castle in France was just one of many ideas.
But what if I asked him, he agreed, and still didn’t like it?
Oh, God.
What if he’d just pretend to like it? What if he didn’t even want to marry me in the first place? What if?—
No.No, stop this.
I clutched the sides of my head, closing my eyes to drown out all of these what-ifs, but they just wouldn’t stop.
What if he doesn’t like the venue?
What if getting married isn’t nearly as magical as you imagine?
What if the vision of our wedding day isn’t what he had in mind at all?
It was like a never-ending storm, a tornado of thoughts that I knew I shouldn’t have listened to, but it was impossible to drown them out. Each thought was more irrational than the last.
