Page 82 of What If We Break?
You’d think after twenty years on this earth, I finallylearned to control this… I got better, outbursts like these didn’t happen as often anymore, but I suppose I still slipped sometimes.
“I—Reece, I’m so sorry… I don’t—” Tears streamed down my face as I collapsed onto the floor. “I don’t know why I said all this. I didn’t… I didn’t even mean most of it.”
“I know,” he said, lifting me off the ice. Reece held me in his arms, my legs and arms wrapped around his body. “And I promise you, Brooke, I’ll give it my all tomorrow at the competition. But tonight I just need tobe.”
“Okay,” I mumbled.
“Iamchoosing to miss hockey for you, and I’d choose to do this for you over and over again, but that doesn’t mean I can just brush it under the rug as well. Going pro is still important to me, and I can’t just ignore or stop feeling bad about risking it to be here.”
“I’m sorry you’re missing another game because of me.” I felt awful about it. Truly. I knew how much hockey meant to him. I should’ve known he was putting a lot on the line to help me.
Somehow, between all the eagerness to make it to nationals and being sure Reece was my ticket to get there, I overlooked how much he was sacrificing for me. I wasn’t exactly sure how it slipped my mind or why I couldn’t see it until now, but I also knew it had to change.
We had to find a way to balance it both. Find a way to ensure Reece wasn’t going to get in trouble with his team or agent—if it wasn’t too late for that already—while he could still help me. Or I’d just have to get myself disqualified from this season and pray that I could skate with Erik or someone way better than him next season.
35
REECE
“What are you doing here?” Colin asked as I walked right into his house without prior notice. Ever since I moved out, I told him when I was stopping by, no matter the reason why. I didn’t today. “Aren’t you supposed to be, I don’t know, with Brooke and preparing for your competition in a few hours?”
I sped past my brother, rummaging through his living room cabinets. “Brooke’s at home—uhm, well, her old home.” I shook my head, trying to focus. “She’s with her family, I mean. You know, the house across from us right now.”
Colin chuckled. “Could’ve just said she’s with her parents.”
“I tried and failed.” I moved on to another cabinet, still not finding my stupid papers. “Anyway, I will race to the arena and meet her there this time.”
“You know, it’s not good to be so distracted before a stressful day like today,” he said. I heard him stepping closer to me before eventually, he laid a hand on my shoulder and stopped me from looking through all of his cabinets like a crazy person. “What exactly are you looking for, Reece? This is still my house, maybe I know where it is.”
Looking at my brother, I sighed heavily. “Do you remember when I signed with Pike, he told me to create a portfolio with all my stats? Like all my hockey wins and losses over the years?”
Colin nodded. “He can look them up online.”
“That’s what you said back then as well, remember?”
“I do, and I still think it’s stupid you had to do that.”
He wasn’t the only one who thought it was stupid. I wasn’t even sure why Pike needed this information. I understood having been watched since high school, but he even wanted my middle school stats and whatever games I playedbeforemiddle school.
And as Colin said, he could just look them up online.
“Yeah, well, I need that portfolio. I left it here when I moved out because I thought it wouldn’t get lost then, but I have no idea where I put it,” I said. Anthony asked me to bring the portfolio to our meeting so he could have a look at it. I was certain he just wanted to make fun of Pike. “So, that didn’t work.”
My brother looked at me, watching as he raked a hand through his hair. “Honestly, the only one who might know is Lily.”
“Yeah, but she’s not here.” As far as I knew, she was currently on set for the next movie she was directing. She should’ve been home later though, but that wasn’t helping me now. “I’m not surprised to hear you have no idea wheremystuff is. You’re barely home. It’s a miracle you know where the kitchen is.”
“I’m only ever in there for the kids anyway, and they show me the way, so I don’tneedto know, do I?” he joked. Though, he really wasn’t in the kitchen a lot. He usually ate whatever Lily made or stole food from Miles. I did the same though, so I couldn’t even make fun of him.
Speaking of Colin’s kids, Kieran decided to show up at that very moment. He looked at me first, then at his father.
“Dad, can we go to the bookstore?” Kieran asked. “I have nothing more to read, and JJ’s sick so I can’t even go over to Uncle Ron’s house to play with him.”
“Didn’t your mom get you a new book just yesterday?” Colin asked in return.
Kieran nodded. “So? I finished it.” He looked at me again, smiling this time. “Mom put your folder with your portfolio in my room so Kim wouldn’t accidentally use the papers to draw on.”
That was smart.
