Page 8 of What If We Break?
REECE
“You look like shit,” Fynn commented as I walked into the locker room.
Fynn had been a great friend to me since college started. For a while, I considered him my best friend on the entire team, but Ming took the spot shortly after as Fynn appeared a bit different sometimes. He was a good friend, though, at least I thought so.
“It’s seven in the morning.” I dropped my heavy bag on the ground in front of my cubby, then took a seat to take a breath.
“Dude, practice didn’t even start yet. How are you already exhausted?” Ming chimed in, laughing. He sat down beside me and nudged me in the ribs with his elbow. “Had a long night, huh?”
“You could say that.” It was long, but not for the reasons he had in mind.
I barely closed my eyes as my thoughts were running wild with possible solutions of how Brooke and I could fix our relationship.
If my brother taught me one thing in life, it was to fucking fight for her, no matter what. I couldn’t disappoint him bygiving up on Brooke and me, and I didn’t want to disappoint myself by doing it, either. But most importantly, I sure as fuck wasn’t going to disappoint Brooke by not fighting for us.
I just had to figure out how we were going to do this.
I was supposed to spend the night at her place like I did every year for her birthday, and I didn’t do that. Perhaps that was also a reason why I just couldn’t sleep last night.
Colin already thought that was strange, and he asked like a million questions, neither of which I replied to. He looked so defeated when I wouldn’t talk to him, and I was sure he had assumptions as to why I was so closed off. So, I’d have to work extra hard to convince him that Brooke and I were fine.
We were, in theory… well, almost. Kind of. To an extent.
I called Brooke’s dad last night and told him we sorta broke up because I knew Brooke would’ve wanted him to know. Miles didn’t say much, but I could tell he wasn’t very pleased with it. So I suppose he told Colin by now. Or maybe he kept it to himself because he knew the breakup was temporary.
Brooke agreed to give it another try. We’d have to pretend we weren’t together for the next two years so Brooke’s professors and Erik would leave her alone. Also so that my agent would be pleased and actually help me get into the NHL.
The only people who’d see how much she meant to me were her and our families.
I knew we weren’t over, I could feel it, but fuck, it felt like it anyway.
Hiding her? I’d never done that before. I neverdreamtof doing that.
Acting like she meant nothing to me was a nightmare, and even though it was my suggestion, I wasn’t sure how it was going to affect our relationship.
How could I watch her go out with her Juilliard friends and forcefully flirt with other guys, while I had to stand on the sidelines and couldn’t fuck up the guys’ faces?
How could I not run right into her arms after my games?
How was I supposed tonotattend her ballet recitals, figure skating training, or competitions? How was I supposed to not kiss her in front of everyone? Congratulate her on her wins, or console her for her losses?
I’d have to wait until we were back home to show my girlfriend any form of affection. That couldn’t have possibly been good for our relationship.
But… it was the only way I could keep her. At least until I found another solution.
“How could anyone possibly be this cranky after fucking their girlfriend all night long?” Fynn suddenly took a seat on the other side of me, slapping my knee.
I sighed.
“Right?” Ming sounded as cheerful as ever.
“Man, I’d probably be in a coma, but it’d be so worth it. And this guy here—” Fynn slapped my knee once more. “—he’s all groggy.”
Did neither of them realize that I wasn’texhaustedbut moments away from losing my goddamn mind?
My eyes stung with tears and I rarely cried. My heart was racing as if I was currently running a whole ass marathon. If they looked closely, they were probably able to see my hands shaking as well.
“You know, I’ve always been wondering; does it ever get boring?” Fynn asked, sounding as cheerful as never before. It was almost as odd as his question. “Like, haven’t you been fucking the same girl since you were like… thirteen? That’s six years man. I’d be bored out of my mind.”
