Page 89 of Six Years
“The flu kills so many people a year, and I don’t want you to be one of them, do you hear me, Grey Davis?” He kisses me, soft and sweet like it’s the last time he’ll ever get to do it. “For the next two weeks, you’ll do nothing but lie in bed and let me take care of you, okay?Withoutany form of sex. You’re not allowed to lay a hand on me.”
I swallow hard. Why does Luan getting so upset over my health make me emotional? “Not even for cuddles?”
“I’ll allow cuddles and kisses, but only because I think I might die if I don’t get them either. No hardcore making out though.” How am I going to survive the next couple of months without this guy by my side? Correction,physicallyby my side. He’ll support me from afar, I know that, but he won’t be there in person.
“Okay. I promise. Just lying in bed and cuddling with you for two whole weeks.”
Chapter 8
“I’d spend every hour, of every day / keeping you safe”—You Are The Reason by Calum Scott
March 2025
Grey kept his promise.
He got up a few times a day to walk around for a little while, or to pee and shower, eat and all that stuff. But other than that, we’ve spent the past two weeks in his bed, watching movies and TV shows, talking—though I talked more than he did. And we cuddled awhole lot. I don’t think there was a moment I wasn’t in his arms when we were in his bed together.
Though, there was this one time when he got a little mad at me because I offered to help Miles do the dishes after one of their Taco Sundays and send Grey back to bed alone. I was a guest, of course I was going to help do the dishes even when everyone insisted I didn’t have to. It was the polite thing to do.
I did, however, feel a little out of place that Sunday. They’re all very nice people, and they’ve been trying to talk to me as much as they could, but their relationships go so deep that I cannot compete. Grey is a whole other person when he’s with his friends. He laughs a lot more, he’s calmer and far more relaxed. They talked about stuff I didn’t understand, and even when they tried to explain inside jokes to me, I still didn’t fit in with them because no matter how good they’d explain it, I wasn’t there to experience it with them.
I know it shouldn’t upset me, but it does. Having been there and experiencing the whole family dynamic all seven of them have, it made me upset because I don’t think I’ll ever be part of that. Not because Grey wouldn’t let me get close to his friends, but because I’m not cut out for huge friend groups. There’s always someone who won’t like me, and then I’ll try to make them like me and when someone else finds out, the whole friend group will go against me, which then means Grey will go against me.
I already know that losing Grey won’t do anything good to me.
“What’s wrong?” Grey asks, holding his hand out for me to take. When I lay mine in his, he pulls me into his body and wraps his strong arms around my neck.
“I don’t want to leave,” I tell him. My plane is scheduled to take off around six in the morning because Grey has to be at the airport around the same time. He’s cleared to go back to playing ice hockey, the happiness on his face when he got the news even made me happy, but I hate having to leave him even more.
I don’t know when I’ll see him again. It could be a few days, weeks, but also months or even years.
“My offer still stands,” he says now pressing his lips to my temple. “Move in with me, Luan.”
“As much as I’d like to do that right this instance, I’d still have so much to handle first. I’d have to find a job around here somewhere, register my car and transfer my driver’s license, and I bet there’s so much more I’m not thinking of right now. And I need more than a few hours to say goodbye to my family and best friend, and I definitely owe my kids a better goodbye, too.” Let’s be honest, I have planned a goodbye party for months now because I knew I’d eventually have to move to New York City. Grey wouldn’t move for me, and I’m not mad about it. His whole life is here, hiscareeris here. He has far more to lose than I do, and I’d gladly make the sacrifice for him.
Coming home to Grey would be one of the many fairy tales in my head come true. But it’d also bring a whole lot of new challenges. Yes, he’d be on the road a lot so it’s not like we’d be with each other twenty-four hours a day every day, but it’d still be a huge change in both of our lives. Neither of us is used to sharing their space as much, sharing theirbed. When we need space, we’re far apart to get said space, but when we live together, we’ll have to find space without making possible arguments more than what they are.
“How long?” he asks.
“Maybe next year or the year after?” Next year sounds far too long, but I think it’s the most realistic. We’ll get to know each other a little better, even if we’ll be miles apart, and I’ll have enough time to say goodbye. Grey will have enough time to make space for me, too. “The year will pass in the blink of an eye.”
“It better.”
“In the meantime, we can FaceTime and I can come to your games in California, even fly out if I miss you way too much to handle. And when you’ve got a day or two to spare, you can come visit me if you feel like it. We got this, okay?”
“Okay.”
I hold him a little tighter, praying to every single God out there to make this easy for us. Both of us have enough things to worry about with our families, there’s no need to make distance that much of a problem in our relationship as well.
“And you’re off this summer, right? No trips planned?” I ask carefully. Grey wanted to come see me last summer already but that was filled with a last-minute trip through Europe.
“Not yet. But if we come up with some, I’ll go on my knees and beg you to come with us.” He wouldn’t. Grey Davis on his knees when he’s completely healthy? I’d like to see that.
I think the hockey season ends in just a few days anyway, but it looks like they made it to the playoffs for the Stanley Cup, that much I picked up last year. Grey’s team will definitely make it, though with less points than last year. I believe they fucked up in the time Grey wasn’t on the ice with them, if Grey was there, they would’ve been first, I’m sure.
My head is pressed right into the front of his shoulder when I mumble, “I think I might die, that’s how much I miss you already.”
“You better not,” he responds, but it’s definitely not said in a sweet way. “The next time I see you, there’s nothing that could stop me from fucking you, except maybe your death because necrophilia is not my thing. And a no. But other than that, nothing.”
