Page 82 of Six Years
“No, let me talk.” I don’t know what else he thinks he has to say, but alright. “I’ve been trying my hardest not to do it anymore, but manipulating someone into liking me has been all I did for years so it’s really difficult for me to just stop it, you know? You’re the first person I wanted to not do this with because I really like you, Grey, and to think that I am doing to you what I did to a bunch of other people makes me want to punch myself. I should’ve told you this right from the start, so you knew what to look out for or something, but I was scared you’d overthink everything I say. I still am scared you’ll do that now that you know, but you deserve to know. Youshouldknow what you’re getting yourself into before you get yourself into it.”
I cup his face with my hands, gently stroking my thumbs over his cheeks. “Baby, I know.” It was one of the only things I could tell from the very beginning. The signs were right there, but I could also tell he was trying his hardest not to fuck up.
“You know?” His face pales a little, so I offer him a comforting smile like it would help him regain his strength.
“I knew all along, but thank you for telling me.” He always switches from confident to terrified in seconds, it’s what told me he was trying his best. “I grew up with a narcissistic father, Luan. I see the signs before anyone even shows them. From the few minutes we talked on that beach, I knew you had narcissistic tendencies. I had no idea how far they went, but I knew they were there. The game you tried to play with me, saying I should come find you, I knew it was to engulf me, make you seem more interesting. I admit, I would’ve tried finding you because it did work. But it didn’t work because you tried to make me like you this instant, it worked because you were a mystery to me. It worked because I needed to figure you out, find out why you switched from the most confident person to seeing your death right in front of you.” I pause for a second, watching as his eyes soften little by little. “Luan, I like you because you interest me, because despite everything, youarea great person, and you shake every goddamn nerve in my body like no one ever has before. And all thatnotbecause you’re making me like you.”
God, I just want to lean forward and kiss him, show him how much I like him, and I’d do so if I wasn’t still sick. I’m not sure I’m still contagious, but I’m assuming so. Would it even make a difference? I’m pretty sure Luan slept in my bed all these nights because I roughly remember begging him for cuddles on more than one occasion.
“Do you mean that?”
“I promise, Luan. I would never let you coax me into something I don’t want.”
His head bobs about three times while letting my words sink in. “So why did you ignore me in the past?”
Yeah… I should’ve guessed we’d come to that question eventually. Now, I could pull theI’m sickcard and get out of this conversation for now, but I don’t think it’d change much because we will get back to it one day. And I guess it’s better he’ll find out now than later, when he’s asking to meet my parents and I have to turn him down over and over again, right?
“I ignored you because I am not allowed to be with you, Luan. Your presence in my life is the cause why I haven’t talked to my family in three years. I know how to fix this because it’s what I’ve done all throughout college, pretend like I’m not also into guys. My dad knows, but he won’t accept it so unless I can tell him I’m magically no longer attracted to men, he won’t exchange a single word with me. I didn’t want to lose my family, so I ignored you because I thought I could just tell my dad I wasn’t seeing you anymore. But every time I was about to hit call, I couldn’t.” Somewhere between the end of college and now, I realized what I should’ve known years ago. That if my family truly wanted to see me, they would. If they wanted to talk to me, they would, despite my father not being okay with who I date.
Phoenix calls me after every of my games to tell me it was a good one or say he’s sorry for our loss. He doesn’t give a flying fuck about my father saying my family isn’t supposed to talk to me anymore. Sun and I still talk every day and she, too, doesn’t care that my father wishes she wouldn’t.
So maybe giving up my family only meant giving up the people who don’t give a shit about me, and I’m okay with that. I no longer rely on my parents anyway. They’re not financing me anymore, I make plenty of money from hockey to live well. The only thing that’s keeping me from officially cutting the ties is that little voice in the back of my mind that is hoping my father will come around. He won’t.
Luan nods, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, I read the interviews he gave years ago. Made me want to puke.”Me too.“I stand corrected, by the way.Thisis the longest I have ever heard you talk in one go.”
“Blame it on me being sick.”
Luan’s hands lay on my neck, sliding up until the tips of his fingers push right into my hair. Once he’s got a good grip on me, he pulls me down until our lipsalmosttouch. “I’m sorry your dad is like that. I couldn’t imagine not having my father’s support.”
“It’s alright.”
Luan shakes his head, then presses his lips right to the corner of my mouth. “It’s not alright, Grey.Buuttt, once I broke the news to my father that I am now officially dating the son of the man he hates the most, you’ll find yourself a whole new family.”
Oh, yeah, I cannot wait. His mother is nice though, so I’m somewhat praying his father won’t take the news too badly. “Does your mom know who I am?”
“Nope,” he laughs. “Just like I did, everyone thinks your last name would have to be Li, so…”
Right. I’m glad Li’s not my last name.
“When are you going to tell them?” I ask, sliding my hands down his body to rest them on his waist.
Luan shrugs. “I’ll probably wait another few weeks, months, or years, maybe until my mom finishes up that scratch book she’s making about us. You know, for when we get married.”
“We have photos together?” I don’t recall taking some. I mean, I guess there are the paparazzi shots, but I doubt anyone would ever use those in a photobook unless they’re really cute or something.
“No, but she photoshopped some. They look horrible, but I like her enthusiasm. Honestly, my mom might be my biggest supporter ever.”
That’s sweet. “How’d she know we’d end up together anyway?”
Luan winks at me, then pulls me down to him one more time, his lips brushing mine when he says, “I always get what I want, Grey Davis.”
Chapter 6
“as long as I’m with you / I’ve got a smile on my face”—Here With Me by d4vd
March 2025
I knew any datewith Grey would turn out great, but I honestly didn’t think staying in his apartment for our first official date would turn out to be the best date I’ve ever been on. But I think that’s mainly because it’s a date with Grey.
