Page 76 of Six Years
“I don’t know.” I don’t think I ever told him either because I don’t have one.
“It’s Blue.” It’s not, I don’t have a middle name.
“I think you’re lying, Grey Davis.”
“I am,” I confirm. “And I think you’re a demon who’s about to show me the way to hell. Or an angel who’s flying me up to heaven. Either way, I don’t think you’re my Luan. I think you’re trying to play tricks on me. Because my Luan lives far away from me. Oh god, do you know that I miss him so much?”
“I know now, baby.” He brings a hand to my forehead, most definitely to check if I’m hot. “Do you want some chicken soup?”
I ignore his question. “Are you actually here? Because if you’re not, please tell me so I can go back to sleep and dream of you instead.”
He takes a seat on the edge of my bed, and lays my hands down on his jaw. “I’m real, baby.”
Without thinking, I wrap my arms around Luan, shedding tears when I can feel him. He’s here. Like actuallyhere. In my bedroom. In my arms.
“I’ve missed you so fucking much,” I mumble, closing my eyes for a small moment as I enjoy his presence, his warmth, him. The familiar scent of something sweet and flowery hits my nostrils, causing me to smile more than ever.
I love his scent. It’s comforting and could easily describe him because Luan justisall kinds of flowers. He’s what I expect the sun to smell like, minus the fire.
When we pull apart, I almost move in to kiss him, but stop myself when I feel the soreness of my muscles again.
I’m sick. Right.
He shouldn’t be here while I’m sick, I’m contagious and I sure as fuck don’t want to get him sick, too.
“No, Grey Davis, kiss me. Please.”
I shake my head, regretting it immediately. God, my head’s pounding. Shouldn’t antiviral pills make me feel better? I swear I felt betterbeforetaking them. “You’re going to get sick.”
Luan shrugs. “One more reason to stay with you for longer.”
That year I hadn’t seen him, it felt like an eternity. Every time I planned on leaving to fly over to Malibu, something got in my way. But he’s here now. And I can’t even kiss him.
“Are you going to brush off everything I say as me having said it because I’m on drugs?” I ask, watching his nod. “Great. So, I like you, Luan Hayes. And I want to cry right now because you’re here and I can’t kiss you. And I swear, I want to kiss you so badly right now, I feel like I’ll die if I don’t have my lips pressed to yours within the next five seconds.”
Luan smiles widely at me, then pulls his bottom lip between his teeth. “Wow, I wish you got sick more often because you talk a whole lot more.”
“Yeah. But that’s okay because you can talk every day when I’m not sick, okay?” I love listening to him talk. He’s always so joyful and sweet and funny and so enthusiastic. He’s like the light in my life.
I’m the night and he’s the day.
While he’s the sun, I’m the moon.
And I wouldn’t want to have it any other way.
“Can you cuddle me?” I blurt out when Luan gets back up from the bed. “It’ll make me feel a whole lot better.”
“I thought you don’t do cuddles?” He’s picking up my phone from the foot of the bed and putting it down on my nightstand.
“Yeah, but you’re the exception. You’realwaysthe exception.”
“Good to know.”
I wish I could see him a little less blurry, and I wish I didn’t feel like dying any second so I could enjoy having him here.
I do, however, notice the yellow hoodie he’s wearing. I think it’s my favorite hoodie of his, but only because I have a matching one.
When I look down at myself, I realize I am not wearing a shirt. That’s too bad, I should’ve worn my frown-hoodie because then Luan and I would be matching again.
