Page 19 of Six Years
It doesn’t matter what I thought, I thought wrong. Clearly.
I am pushing him, aren’t I? I tend to do that a lot, push people. I like getting them out of their comfort zones and showing them there’s a life beyond what’s known and safe. And I guess sometimes I go too far with it.
I lift my head up, facing the stars. It’s a beautiful night, a clear night sky. If I wasn’t in such a bad mood, maybe I’d enjoy it a little more.
Stars are beautiful, they hold secrets. They’re so far away yet shine so bright that we can see them.
I used to think every person who dies turns into a star, except bad people. The better people we were, the brighter our stars would shine. And when I thought about that just a year ago, I knew my star wouldn’t shine at all. But these days, I’d like to think that even my star could shine. Maybe not the brightest, but a little bit would be enough.
“Are you Luan?” a female voice asks from right behind me.
I turn my head to see who’s talking, my eyes then follow her when she seats herself right next to me on the sand.
She’s got black hair and dark eyes like Grey. Her cheeks are a little puffier than his are, her jaw not as defined. Her features in general are more on the feminine side, but other than that they look the same.
“If I’m in trouble, then no, I’m not,” I answer.
She laughs, such a sweet and innocent laughter. It makes me wonder what Grey’s would sound like. “I’m Sun,” she says. “Grey’s sister.”
I guessed that the second I laid my eyes on her. “He’s not coming, is he?”
Sun shakes her head. “He had to go back to New York. I’m sure he would’ve come if he was here.”
But why didn’t he just tell me that? He could’ve sent me a text saying that he had to leave and not ignore it.
“Did he tell you to come find me to tell me that?” Because otherwise I don’t quite know why his sister would be here with me right now.
“No, but, don’t tell him I told you this, he showed me your message and freaked out.”
“Your brotherfreakedout?” She nods. “Are you sure we’re talking about the same brother because the Grey I got to know doesn’t strike me as one tofreakout. He’s more silent and grumpy. And he probably hates that I talk so much. I’m a great talker and I know it annoys people sometimes, but he never said it annoyed him. He seems like the kind of person who’d just stop me mid-sentence and say, ‘Shut your stupid fucking, much-talking mouth, Luan.’ But I probably wouldn’t stop even if he told me to because I am petty like that, I’d just talk more. But then, he also smiled that one time we talked. Well, it wasn’t asmile, it was like a lip-tug for a solid nanosecond, but I swear it was there. So maybe I wasn’t annoying him with all the talking after all.”
I’m doing it again. Talking. But from the looks of it, Sun is more amused than annoyed. She’s still smiling. I am not used to people smiling back at me as much as I am smiling at them.
But then she shrugs. “He wasn’t annoyed. He grew up with me, so Grey’s used to listening a lot and having someone talk his ears off.”
“You’re a talker?”
Sun laughs. “My best friend once put headphones on in the middle of a slumber party because she wanted to sleep, and I wouldn’t stop talking.”
“So did mine!” Why this excites me so much, I don’t know. Don’t care either. I like Grey Davis’s sister. “I live with her now, and she locks her bedroom door so I can’t come inside to talk to her about random things. I hate it, so I sit down in front of her door and talk anyway. She ends up unlocking that door to throw a pillow at me and then closes the door again and locks it. She then puts on some music loud enough to deafen the entire city.”
Chapter 11
“boy, you make me make bad decisions”—Bad Decisions by Ariana Grande
September 2022
“Look at that!”Colin says all excitedly, holding up a blue dinosaur onesie for newborns. “We should get it. What’s Eden’s size?”
Eden is Miles’s son. He was born about three weeks ago. Ever since then, Aaron and Colin have been buying everything baby related they found remotely cute and gifted it to Miles and Emory. I mean, babies grow out of their clothes rather quickly, so I’m sure they’re glad. They couldn’t do this for Brooke because she was already a year old when we met Miles, so buying newborn clothes was off the charts. And to be fair, I don’t think Miles would’ve put Brooke into a dinosaur onesie either.
But she gets a whole lot of toys now. Miles must hate it.
“Can’t we just go back to the hotel?” We’re in Pittsburgh right now for a game tomorrow, and while I just wanted to get some painkillers from the pharmacy, Aaron and Colin spotted a Hayesland store and figured we should check it out.
Across the street from the store is a Li Co. one, and I’m really glad my friends decided not to go in there yet because stepping foot in anything that’s related to my father makes me mad these days.
I haven’t talked to him since he threw me out back in July. Sun kept me updated on the mood back at home though, and it wasn’t good at all. I don’t know how to fix this without losing myself in the run, without turning into someone I’m just not.
