Page 2 of The Stranger I Love
I lifted my pen for the briefest moment, loneliness stabbing me in the chest. Everyone I loved had left me behind. But this time, I would be the one to leave. With tears stinging my eyes, I scrawled the rest of my pent-up emotions onto the page.
I know being home reminds you of the loss of our parents—I understand better than anyone—but I am still alive. You have neglected your duties to the estate and to me. Since I have been left to depend on myself for most of my needs, then I should be granted the privilege of speaking for myself on this matter as well.As children,we always agreed to play our games fairly.Let us apply this same principle as sensible adults. I cannot allow you to cheat me out of my future happiness.
I touched the end of the quill to my lips, sudden worry drying my eyes. “Reggie is going to be furious when he learns that not only have I run away, but I have contracted myself to be a governess.”
“More than furious. Ye know ‘e’ll be outraged,” Nora answered. “Especially when yer parents had such high hopes for ye.”
I bit my lip. “Yes, well, I had high hopes too. But now I must redirect my future until I can make it my own.” Nora crossed the room to gather my riding habit with its matching top hat. It was a beauty, but I had never worn it. Reginald had insisted I learn to ride despite my lifelong apprehension about horses. Hoping he would stay long enough to teach me, I had purchased the habit. I did not have the heart to tell Nora that it would only continue to gather dust once I began my new position.
Nora held the habit to her chest like it was a direct line to Reginald. “Maybe ye should write to yer brother and ask a few more questions ‘bout this man he ‘as found for ye. Mayhap, ye will change yer mind.”
“I shouldn’t have to write to ask,” I argued. “He should have volunteered the information and been transparent from the beginning. A man only ever sees life at large, where a woman’s life lies in the details. He should know that I had expectations. His vagueness is infuriating.”
I should tell him that too. I dipped my quill in the ink again, my hand flying across the paper.
Honestly, Reggie, you did not even include the man’s name in your last correspondence. Indeed, a woman should know much more than his name when she becomes engaged, but what sort of family she will be attaching herself to and the place she will reside the rest of her life. These are pertinentdetails and add to my argument that running away is the only logical choice.
Nora sat back, her eyes pleading. “But isn’t stayin’ ‘ere better than all of Society callin’ ye the runaway bride? Yer reputation will be ruined.”
My lips tightened into a straight line. “No one is going to call me that.”
“They might,” Nora suggested with a shrug.
I huffed. “Who is to say they won’t call me the enviable, independent debutante?”
She shook her head. “More’s likely they’ll say somethin’ awful. Like the ill-behaved debutante or the rogue intended. Who will want to marry ye then?”
I glared and propped my arm over the back of my chair. “Suppressed women everywhere will herald my bravery. I will be known as the wise, the plucky, the courageous. A woman who paves her own future. Surely a man will want such fine attributes for his children and consider marrying me.” I had started out strong, but I could hear the doubt in my own voice by the end. Would anyone want to marry me after this? I would be a far cry from a diamond.
Nora sniffled again, her eyes screwing up with emotion. “I fear yer dreamin’. Yer bound to be a lady fallen from Society who wanders around poor and abused.”
“Enough,” I breathed. In truth, I was more than a little scared, but I could not let that stop me. “No one is going to call me anything. I will change my surname from Lowry to Palmer.”
Nora squinted. “After the craggy undertaker? Ye want me to be reminded of the ol’ crotchety man who buries the dead every time I speak to ye?”
I sighed. “I have already given this new surname to my employer. Once I have my inheritance, I will simply change it back. Besides, even if I’m found out, men won’t care what I’ve done if it means they can have the money I receive on my birthday next.” It was not the most promising idea, but it would have to do for now. I picked up my pen to finish my letter. I could not forget my anger and let Nora persuade me.
Don’t try to search for me, Reginald. I know what it is like to live alone, and I feel capable of securing a living suitable for a lady. When I reach my majority, I will return to collect my inheritance.
Love,
Estelle
I sighed, pushing the paper away from me. “There, Nora. It is finished. I will leave first thing in the morning.”
“Yes, miss. Not to worry. I can be packed by then. I don’t have much.”
I folded my arms. “Nora, you aren’t coming with me.”
She folded her arms too and set her jaw. “Yer mother would insist.”
Cheeky woman. “Mother is not here, and I am. I insist you stay.” I gave her my firmest look.
She matched it with a defiant humph.
I swung back in my seat and picked up my pen again.
P.S. I am taking Nora with me.
