Page 59 of Haakon's Fate
Gytha nodded, heart sinking. He didn’t need to say more for her to understand what he meant. Tomorrow they would be home and everything would go back to normal.
This had been folly, and would never happen again.
In the lightof the flickering flames, Haakon watched Gytha sleep.
She looked so peaceful and content that he could almost forget he had hurt her earlier. Not unbearably and, fortunately, he had managed to make her forget about the pain, but he had hurt her nonetheless. The thought was a knife to the heart. If one of them had to endure any discomfort, it should have been him, whose body was stronger and harder.
Haakon had always thought that this difference between men and women was one of life’s greatest injustices. Why should women’s introduction to sensual pleasures bring pain when men felt nothing but bliss from the start? Easing his way into slick, warm softness was one of man’s greatest delight whereas welcoming her lover’s iron hard member into her untried body for the first time caused pain to a woman, and this despite the desire she felt for him.
How deeply unfair.
The only thing a man could do was to ensure he caused her the least amount of discomfort. That was why Haakon never balked at the idea of making love to a virgin. He’d reasoned that if a woman thought herself ready to start exploring and was willing to be bedded then it might as well be by him, who would be careful and give her pleasure once the worst was over. If he refused her in the name of some outlandish principle, thenshe would only go to someone else, who might not be as gentle. Someone like Arne.
No, it was better to agree and give a woman what she craved. After all, if she found herself in his arms and in a position to ask to be taken, it was because she had chosen him. Why should he assume to know better than she did what she wanted?
But Gytha’s virginity had taken him by surprise.
He had been certain she had some experience of men, having assumed that Theodebert, her first love, had introduced her to the delights of the flesh. She had stood up to Alberic with such confidence, claiming that who she fucked was her own concern, that not for a moment had he thought she was putting on an act. The way she had talked about his lovers later had only comforted him in the idea that she was no stranger to what transpired between men and women.
He had been wrong.
Well, she might not have known before last night what lovers did together, but she certainly did now. She’d found out that men were little more than rutting beasts ruled by lust. A twinge of guilt caused his chest to tighten. Had he really taken her without pleasuring her first? Yes. Granted, he had succeeded in tempering his fiercest urges while she was getting used to being filled, but he had pounded into her with abandon once he’d felt her spasming around his cock. There had been no other way. It had felt too good, too satisfying to know he had succeeded in bringing her pleasure.
What would happen once they returned to the village?
They had once pretended to be betrothed, they had now become lovers in truth. But there was nowhere else for them to go. He knew Gytha wasn’t ready to consider anything serious for now and he had decided that he had better stay clear of Saxons. And he wasn’t sure what her father would think if he found out what had happened tonight.
Or rather, he knew only too well.
The reeve would understandably come to the conclusion that Haakon had used his time alone with Gytha to seduce an innocent all too susceptible to men’s scheming. It would be unbearable because he didn’t care to lose the respect of two men he admired. Because Wolf would not take it too well either to see him take advantage of the mission to indulge his senses.
All this was why he’d been made sure to spill outside her body—another reason why women, and virgins in particular, were better off with him than with a less scrupulous man. He always stayed in control, ensuring that their encounters didn’t bear any fruit.
Haakon ran a hand over his face because this time, things wouldn’t be that simple. There might not be anyphysicalconsequences of their lovemaking in the months to come, but he suspected that tonight’s tryst would leave a trace in his mind.
Gytha sighed and turned her back to him, nestling into his body just like she had before he’d slid inside her. His cock immediately responded to the involuntary invitation. He tried to move away from her and the temptation she represented but every time he shuffled closer to the edge of the pallet, she grumbled her displeasure and reached for him. In the end there was no choice but to accept his fate.
It was a long time before he fell into oblivion.
17
Gytha woke up alone—and naked.
She bolted upright as soon as she remembered why. Panic seized her when she saw that the shed was empty. Where was Haakon? For a dreadful moment she feared he might have fled, racked with guilt at having deflowered her, or even worse, disappointed with their lovemaking.
Then she saw that a basin of water had been put by the fire to warm up. He had not abandoned her, on the contrary, he had made sure to see to her comfort before going to see to his needs, tend the horses, get more wood or do whatever he needed to do. Grateful for the attention, she used the water to wash herself, blushing all the while. She was naked because last night Haakon had made love to her. She needed that wash because he had reached his pleasure outside her body, coating her with his seed. She was sore because he had been deep inside her. She was smiling because…
Well, because of all that.
Last night had been spectacular, perfect. And she wanted more. How could she tell him as much? She had no idea. In any case, for now they had to concentrate on getting back home andtelling everyone the result of their expedition. He’d said they would ride hard to avoid having to spend another night outside the village and she agreed it was for the best.
She was soon dressed, ready to welcome Haakon. A moment later he came back, his arms laden with thick branches he placed in the corner of the shed for the shepherd to find when he returned home. Then he straightened up, turned around, and finally faced her. The heat from the look he threw her rushed all the way to her toes.
“Are you all right, Saxon? Did you sleep well?”
The use of the familiar nickname, as well as the question, reassured her. He was not angry, he did not resent her for having forced him to deflower her or feel guilty for having surrendered to her pleas.
“I’m all right.”
