Page 3 of Leading the Blind
“You’re just grumpy. Most days they’re funny.”
“Kinda, yeah.” Bax took his hand. “Sorry I yelled, Mini.”
“I’m trying. I swear to God. I’m trying hard to do this.” And God knew there were more than a few days when he just wanted to give up, to go home to Momma’s and admit defeat. Shit fire and save matches, what the fuck was he thinking, riding blind? He’d got his bell rung when he could see.
“I know. I know it.” Bax sighed. “I want— Shit, Mini, I want you to be happy, and you’re not.”
“I don’t want to ride the little events forever. I don’t want to be a has-been.” He didn’t want to be a burden.
“You’re not. You’re doing amazing.”
Now, Bax wasn’t one to blow smoke up anyone’s ass, so the words perked him up a little bit.
“You think so? I feel like a fuck-up.”
“That’s because we’re all always telling you what to do.”
He traced Bax’s fingers, one after another. Lord have mercy, those calluses felt like heaven when they touched him. The fact that they’d never touched him when he couldn’t see wasn’t lost on him. Bax had saved him. Completely. Fucker.
“You’re pouring smoke, Jason. Out of your brain.” Bax chuckled. “Thinkin’ ain’t what we do best.”
“Fuck no. We do stupid shit and drink beer.” It was the cowboy way, after all.
“See? I knew it.” Bax rolled to kiss his cheek.
“Knew what?” He could meet Bax halfway.
“That we’re better not thinking.” Bax laughed, poking his ribs.
He chuckled. “No shit on that, man.”
“Mmm.” Bax settled in right against his hip. “I got you, Jason. You just scared me, is all.”
“Scared me too. I hate being this way.”
“I know.” Those fingers moved over him, Bax stroking his belly.
Goosepimples climbed up his skin, heading from hips to nipples. “Mmm. I don’t hate this, though.”
“No, sir. I love this. Holding you. Touching you.”
“Good deal.”
Bax was breathing, steady and sure, and the rhythm liked to hypnotized him. “That is a good deal,” Bax agreed.
“We are. I mean, this is. Us. Christ.”
“It is what it is.” That was right down Zen of Bax.
He nodded and let his eyes close. It was the only way he could see colors. Sometimes he thought he could see Bax. Sometimes he knew he could.
“You’re smiling.” Bax rewarded him with a kiss.
He didn’t say why, and it didn’t matter. Nothing he did would change his world. No sense getting Bax’s hopes up.
Together, they’d get through today. Tomorrow too.
The day after that would just have to take care of itself.
