Page 20 of Flint's Arrow
“I was a king-sized ass.”
“That doesn’t begin to cover it.” The kettle clicked on, the sound too loud in the silence. Flint pulled two mugs from the cabinet, muscle memory taking over. He took out his greenhouse mug for himself and a plain blue one for Arrow. “I relive that night, time after time in my mind, trying to see something redeemable. Butit all comes back to the same thing. You saw me and decided I was nothing but a pretty hole for you to fuck, and even when I tried to tell you otherwise, you wouldn’t listen to me.”
Arrow flinched. “I know.”
“Do you?” Flint spun around, and Arrow took a step back. Good. Let him be afraid. “Do you know what it’s like to spend your whole life being underestimated? To be the best at what you do, but have everyone -everyone- assume you’re weak or incompetent because you don’t look like their idea of a killer?”
“No.” Arrow’s throat worked. “I don’t know what that’s like.”
“I got to where I am because I’m genuinely the best at what I do.” Flint’s voice shook despite his best efforts to control it. “I truly have the highest kill rate in the field. They fly me around the world for impossible shots because I’mthat good. I just spent three days in a filthy London safe house after waiting for a fifteen-minute window to take out a vampire who was trafficking shifter children. I saved those kids, Arrow. Me. The twink who prefers gingham overalls to tight jeans or suits.”
Arrow’s face crumpled. “I didn’t know…”
“You didn’t ask!” The words exploded out of Flint. “What was worse was that when Itoldyou I was working, and I tried to explain, you laughed at me. You said I should be at home cooking your meals and wearing those fucking assless pants so you didn’t have to work for a fuck - all while you were doing the real work.”
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s not good enough!” Flint’s hands clenched into fists. His snake hissed inside him, torn between rage and the desperate need to comfort their mate. “You’re a wolf. Wolves treasure theirfated mates, everyone knows that. So why? Why did you treat me like I was disposable trash?”
Arrow’s shoulders sagged. He looked at the floor, at the walls, anywhere but at Flint. When he finally spoke, his voice was barely audible. “Because I’m a coward.”
Flint waited, barely able to breathe.
“I built my whole life on being better than everyone else.” Arrow’s hands shook. “I left my pack in Wyoming to prove I was more than just another wolf from a nobody family. I worked myself to the bone to get my fancy loft, my designer suits, my position in cybercrimes. I needed everyone to know I wasimportant.”
The kettle clicked off. Flint didn’t move.
“When I walked into that bar and smelled you...” Arrow’s voice broke. “You were perfect in my eyes. This gorgeous, delicate creature who smelled like fresh-cut grass and sunshine was in a bar full of alcohol fumes and cigarette smoke. My wolf went insane. Mine, mine,mine. And I panicked.”
“You panicked?” Flint’s voice was flat.
“I’m not proud of it.” Arrow finally met his eyes, and the raw shame in them made Flint’s chest ache. “You were small and pretty and looked nothing like the big alpha wolf I thought I needed to maintain my image. I thought...if I claimed you, what would people say? Would they think I was weak for having a mate who looked like you? So I decided to control the narrative first.”
Flint’s stomach churned.
“I treated you like a boy-toy because ifIwas the one who reduced you to just a pretty face, then that’s all anyone else would see.” Arrow’s laugh was bitter. “I thought I could keep youas my dirty little secret. Bring you out when I wanted you, hide you away when I needed to maintain my reputation. And my wolf went along with it because he was too desperate to have you close to care how I got you.”
“That’s fucking disgusting.”
“I know.” A tear tracked down Arrow’s cheek. “I know it is, but you wanted my truth, so I’m telling it. And then you left, and I couldn’t find you, and every day the mating pull got worse. My wolf finally woke up to what I’d done. He showed me what we’d thrown away - not a toy, but apartner. Someone strong, capable, and perfect.”
Flint’s own eyes burned. “You don’t know me well enough to call me perfect.”
“You’re right. I don’t know you at all.” Arrow wiped his face roughly. “I don’t know your favorite color or what music you like or how you take your tea. I don’t know if you’re a morning person or if you like to sleep in. I don’t know what makes you laugh or what you dream about...”
“Fresh-cut grass,” Flint whispered.
Arrow blinked. “What?”
“You said I smell like fresh-cut grass and sunshine.” Flint’s hands shook as he poured hot water over tea bags. “You smell like pine trees and snow. Clean and sharp and...and like home.”
The silence stretched between them.
Flint carried both mugs to his small kitchen table and sat. After a moment’s hesitation, Arrow took the chair across from him. They didn’t touch, although Arrow’s hand was close enough, Flint would just need to lean...But he wasn’t ready for that.
“I need you to understand something.” Flint wrapped his hands around his mug, letting the heat ground him. “What you did -what you said - it tapped into my biggest fear. I’ve spent my whole life being dismissed because of how I look. And then my fated mate, the one person who’s supposed to see me for who I really am, did the exact same thing.”
“I’m so sorry.” Arrow’s voice cracked. “I can’t take back what’s already been done, but I’m so sorry.”
