Page 20 of Faking Forever
Smith had only ever wanted what was best for her. She hadn’t really appreciated that fact or believed in him until it was too late.
“He’s making you miserable,” Gideon told her, his voice going cold and Kenny stepped out of his hold to look into his angry and concerned gaze.
“Honestly, Gideon? I’ve been making myself miserable, and Smith too. And I don’t really know how to…”
Her brow furrowed as she found herself unable to finish that sentence.
How to what?
Make him love me?
Fix my marriage?
Be happy?
All of those and more applied.
Her and Smith’s problems seemed irreconcilable. And Kenny wasn’t sure why she still felt the need to fight for them when, essentially, their marriage had amounted to nothing real and nothing substantial.
The one thing shecouldsalvage from the wreckage of her marriage was her pride and then move on with dignity. And perhaps that process began with admitting to those who loved her that she was not okay. That she hadn’t been okay for a longtime. That her marriage was over and her husband had left her.
She didn’t have to feel like a failure because of it. She was human and nobody here judged her.
She stared up into Gideon’s concerned eyes and then swept a glance around the overcrowded living room. Everybody was laughing, talking over each other, having a wonderful time. She couldn’t tell them now. It would be unfair to throw such a damper on the festivities.
“Don’t really know how to what, Kenny?” Gideon prompted gently, the affectionate warmth in his gaze nearly undoing her resolve of just a moment ago.
Not now, she reminded herself sternly. At least not while Gideon and Beth’s friends were present. This was too personal, toorawto confess in front of people who were strangers to her.
She forced a smile and shook her head.
“Sorry, I lost my train of thought,” she said, ending with a wholly unconvincing chuckle.
“Ke—”
“Gideon.” Beth joined them, looking slightly frazzled. “We’re out of milk. I can’t make the béchamel without milk. And no cauliflower gratin without béchamel.”
“I can pop out to the sto?—”
“No time,” Beth sounded a little panicked. Which was unusual for her. The woman was one of the most capable people Kenny knew. “Everything’s done. The white sauce is the last component.”
“Auntie Naz?” Gideon asked, his voice exuding calm, which seemed to ease Beth’s frayed nerves.
“Please,” Beth all but begged.
“I’m on it,” he promised.
“Thank you.” Beth wound her arms around Gideon’s waist and gave him a brief, fierce hug and he planted a loving kiss on her flushed cheek.
“We’ll continue this discussion later, okay?” he promised Kenny over the top of Beth’s head. “Right now I have to borrow some milk from the neighbor or Christmas will be ruined.”
“Hardlyruined,” Beth corrected, her usual confidence creeping back into her voice. “It will still be an epic lunch, even without the béchamel.”
“How could it be anything else, when you cooked it, Lizzy-Bit?” Gideon’s voice held a wry, teasing note.
“Damned straight,” Beth agreed and gave him a little shove toward the front door and then a cheeky spank on his butt. “But it’ll be perfection with that sauce. Now please go and find me some milk.”
He gave his wife a cocky salute.
