Page 111 of Faking Forever
She lay there for a long while, running her hands through his sweat-dampened hair as she listened to the storm still raging outside.
She wasn’t sure what all this meant and she wasn’t about to make assumptions again. They would talk about it, and even if they decided that this was just a onetime thing, Kenny would not regret a single moment of it.
But if this was to be the end for them, it felt like a really good note on which to finish.
She hoped it wasn’t. She didn’t want to lose him. To lose this. Not when it felt that they were finally starting to really understand each other.
She loved Smith.
That wasn’t a revelation to her. It didn’t come as a shock, or with any kind of panic and fear.
It justwas.
It had been there all along. It had been in her willingness to keep a child made with him. In her decision to marry him, despite her many reservations. It had been lurking in her fear to let him close. As well as in her choice to follow him here. And then to stay despite his hostility, just to be near to him for a little while longer.
Kenny had loved Smith, but she hadn’t knownhowto lovehim. And when he had left her, she hadn’t known how to lose him either.
So here she was.
In limbo.
With the man she loved. The man who—despite what had just happened between them—had once wanted her out of his life so badly, he’d freely admitted to wanting to “inflict the maximum amount of damage” just to get rid of her.
He had said many, many hateful and hurtful things the night before he’d left her, but the words that had struck the hardest? The words that kept replaying at three times the volume in her head?
Liking you is hard, Kenna. And loving you? Fucking impossible.
Those words had played on her deepest, darkest insecurities. The insidious belief that she wasn’t worthy of love. Not really. Her dying mother hadn’t wanted her around. Her brothers had all left her to grow up alone. Her father had barely known she existed. And they were hard-wired to love her.
So how could she expect someone like Smith to love her?
His weight was becoming unbearable and Kenny shifted slightly, trying to get out from under him. He made a soft sound of protest in his sleep and moved partially to the side, taking most of his weight with him. Still asleep, he threw a possessive arm and leg over her, effectively caging her.
Kenny reminded herself there would be plenty of time to think about all of this later. For now, she had this perfect moment. With this perfect man.
And she wasn’t going to waste it by wallowing.
She turned away from him and snuggled back against his front, the little spoon to his big one. His arms tightened around her and he burrowed his nose into her hair. She thought she heard him whisper her name but couldn’t be sure. It could just as easily have been a sigh.
She nestled down onto the hard bicep beneath her head. And, warmer and safer than she had felt in too long to quantify, Kenny closed her eyes and slept.
Smith awoke to a familiar armful of woman. They were both still stark naked on the sofa. He was curved against her slender back and plump arse. Perfectly spooned against her.
His greedy bastard of a cock was throbbing insistently between them, but he ignored it for now.
God, she smelled great. The scent of her unbound hair, which was spilling over his arm and tickling his face, was everywhere. He’d always loved the scent of her shampoo.
Honey and almond.
The sweet-on-sweet notes had, at first, seemed incongruous for an austere woman like Kenna. But he’d soon discovered that she had hidden depths. An elusive sweetness he’d only ever caught hints of.
It had been frustrating knowing that there was so much more just beneath the cool, smooth surface that she presented to the world and never getting to see it. Smith had believed that a wedding ring would be an instant free pass to all of her secrets. And when she’d been reticent about revealing them, protecting herself, he’d selfishly decided that the problem lay with her.
What an arrogant, entitled prick he was.
His arms tightened protectively around her slender torso.
“You’re awake.” Her voice was low and husky with sleep.
