Page 94 of The Write Track
“Ah.” Understanding dawned on Hayley’s features. “I get it. You missed signs before and you’re angry at yourself for allowing Preston to ruin your life for as long as he did. Your biggest fear is that you’re going to repeat the same mistakes.”
“I spent a full year plotting an escape that I only made when I found Preston in bed with Tiffany. When I left, it was like I could finally breathe again. Why didn’t I leave before then? I know I wanted to. I just never did.”
Hayley didn’t immediately speak. She looked to be searching for the right answer. Bree, however, raised her hand like a sheepish student.
“I know the answer to this if anybody wants to hear what I have to say,” she offered.
There was no containing my smirk. “Oh, yeah? You have the answer to the greatest mystery of my life, do you?”
“Yup.”
Bree had more self-esteem than anybody I knew. Well, maybe other than my mother. I envied her.
“Do you want to hear it?”
“Sure.” I nodded. “The thing is, if you’re going to blame it all on Preston, don’t. He’s a villain—I would never say otherwise—but it can’t be all him. That’s reductive.”
“Oh, you played a part in this,” Bree replied solemnly. “A big part. That doesn’t mean you’re to blame, though.” She took a deep breath. “You were abandoned by your father, correct?”
That was not where I’d expected her to go. “Um…”
“It’s not a trick question,” she assured me. “You’ve made brief mention of having an absentee father. He was there when you were little and then he was gone. That made your mother your entire life. As most girls of a certain age, you likely became hyper-critical of your mother at some point.”
I slurped some soup as I considered it then nodded. “My early college years were rough because I realized my mother was lying and not everybody was raised just like me. I was… confused. We’d been in our own bubble in Salem.”
“And your father not being there popped the bubble,” Bree said. “I get it, although I want to say, your mother sounds great. She might be a bit flaky, but she was always there for you. There are some people who have absentee fathers and less-than-stellar mothers.”
I didn’t push her on the matter. Nathan, during one of our talks, had told me the story of Bree’s mother. She sounded like a piece of work.
“None of this is really about Preston, troll that he is,” Bree continued. “He’s a terrible person. If you were in a good place when you met him, you would have shown him the exit before he made it through the entrance. You were too busy examining your place in the world.”
“Meaning what?” I was genuinely curious what she had to say.
“Your father left you, and it’s normal to wonder why he did that,” she explained. “Why weren’t you good enough for him to stay? That sort of questioning is normal. Preston, as an emotional vampire, recognized that in you and decided to move in.”
“Why, though? There was nothing special about me.”
Bree balked, reminding me a little of Nathan when I’d said the same thing to him. “You glow. You have the sort of energy people are drawn to. Preston wanted it for himself. He didn’t want to share. He did want to control it. That’s what his whole deal is.
“I’m guessing his parents controlled every aspect of his life,” she continued. “He never had control, so he saw his opportunity with you. He knows he’s never getting his control back now. That makes him dangerous. He’s just a little boy throwing a tantrum.”
What she said made sense. Still—still—I couldn’t help but worry. “What if Nathan decides I’m not enough?”
“Nathan has already decided you’re his forever,” Bree replied.
“We don’t know each other well enough for that,” I protested.
“What’s enough? Who gets to decide what is enough?”
I paused for a beat. “I don’t know,” I said finally. “I just want to be enough for the first time in my life.”
“You are enough,” Bree assured me. “Nathan is going to do something weird to screw up. I’m not sure what that’s going to look like—I’m kind of looking forward to seeing it—and you’regoing to have an emotional meltdown before it’s all said and done.
“None of that is important, though,” she continued. “What’s important is that the two of you have enough faith in one another to move past it, because that’s when the good stuff will start happening.”
“Are you suggesting what’s happening now isn’t the good stuff?” I narrowed my eyes. “If you are, I have to question your judgement.”
She barked out a laugh. “It’s going to get better.”
