Page 76 of The Write Track
“Sorry,” I said to the server, hoping to keep her from being impatient. “She’s a newbie, and I want to make sure she has the best Treylor Park experience she could possibly have.”
To my surprise, the server nodded. “It’s okay. I love a virgin.”
Bella’s cheeks turned pink, but she didn’t comment on the server’s use of the V-word. “I’ll try the Grapeful Dead too. I love grape Kool-Aid. I will also have the Brunch Burrito, but can I get hash browns instead of grits?”
The server nodded. “Yeah. Not everybody likes grits. No problem. You want a water too?”
“Please.” Bella smiled as she watched the server go, then she swung her eyes to me. “Do you know they have PB&J Chicken Wings on this menu? They actually tossed chicken in pecan and peanut butter sauce and fried it. Then they give you peach jam as dipping sauce.”
I laughed at her disbelief. Her enthusiasm was a wonder. She was really coming out of her shell, and more than anything,I wanted to be next to her when she made the complete transformation.
I just didn’t know how that was going to work. How could the guy who never wanted to settle down, who had made sure she knew that before embarking on this weird fake relationship, explain that maybe he wasn’t as allergic to the potential they had together after all?
It wasn’t as if I wanted to get married or anything. Not yet. For the first time in a very long time, though, maybe ever, I wanted to date somebody with the express aim of getting to know them and only them. I wanted to go on walks with her. I wanted to take her for rides on my golf cart. I wanted to explore the cemeteries and take the stupid hearse ghost tour.
I wanted to do it all. With her.
I just didn’t know how to tell her that. More than anything I was terrified she would shut me down. She obviously felt something. It was written all over her face when we woke up wrapped around one another each morning. But she was still finding herself after Preston stole her identity. I couldn’t get in the way of that.
So I would wait things out. I would help her get rid of Preston. I would make sure she was in a good place. Then I would bring it up.
I had time. It would work out.
If it didn’t, however, I would be the one with the broken heart.
SINCE WE HAD TIME, I TOOKher to Bonaventure Cemetery for a quick bout of exercise. We skipped the tour and just wandered, all the while chatting about our favorite ghost stories and lamenting the fact that ghosts weren’t used enough in horror movies.
Then we went to the Savannah Seafood Shack for lunch, where we proceeded to order the low country boil. Conversation never ceased the entire time we sat across from one another, my knees touching hers under the table.
After that, because we had to get back, we headed to the store to do our shopping.
“So, we have refrigerators,” she noted. “Hayley’s is smaller than ours, but we can keep some stuff for her if we have to.”
I had two packages of Hayley’s wafer cookies in my hand and was distracted when I looked over at her.
At the sight of Bella without a stitch of makeup, her auburn hair pulled back into a simple ponytail, I was struck in the moment by how she possessed my favorite face in the world. Every expression was a revelation. Every grin was a sunny day.
I was falling head over heels for her. I should have realized it sooner. I didn’t just want to date her. I wanted to make her my everything, just like Brody and Bree.
Somehow, I managed to hold back a groan as the realization hit. Brody was never going to let me live this down. Actually, Bree was never going to let me live this down. What was I going to do?
I was a guy who’d never wanted a relationship, who’d sworn up and down that he was just doing a good thing for a woman who needed help, and I’d lied to everybody. What was more important was that I’d lied to myself.
Had I known from that first day that I wanted more with Bella? That seemed unlikely. Somewhere, deep down, I’d recognized there was something different about her right from the start. I hadn’t allowed myself to see it, though. If I had, I would have run. I knew myself well enough to recognize that. It was too late to run now, though. I would miss her so much.
My biggest problem was that, since I’d set the ground rules, I was going to have to be the one to ease us past them. I couldn’tjust drop on her the fact that I had developed feelings. She was dealing with so much. Complicating her life with a romantic entanglement seemed unfair.
I was going to do it, though. I wasn’t magnanimous enough to back off for six months. That would be akin to torture. So no, I was going to be careful. I was going to get her used to little touches. I was going to make sure she realized she could trust me. Then, when this whole thing was over with, when Preston Martin Charles III was in our rearview mirror for good, I was going to tell her I liked her. I would make sure she knew we could do things on her terms.
Then, maybe, I would get that happily ever after Brody had been yammering on and on about for months. The happily ever after I didn’t think I wanted. What if I’d been wrong? Heck, obviously I had been wrong. How could I have been such an idiot?
I kept telling myself this was real. I was just waiting for her. Weirdly, that didn’t make me feel too bad. If she was my forever, and that was certainly a possibility, then things had happened as they were supposed to happen.
As for the rest, the timetable, I would figure it out as we went along.
“Let’s get a little bit of everything,” I said. “Make sure we have all your favorites too.”
“Oh, I’m easy,” she said. “It doesn’t take much to make me happy.”
