Page 46 of The Write Track
I shrugged. “I have a reputation for a reason.”
“Yes, I’ve been reading about your reputation.” Her eyes sparkled. “Do you know that there are whole threads devoted to you in online writing groups?”
“Really?” Pleasure rolled through me. “What are they saying?”
“Do you really want to know?”
“Yes, especially if they’re praising my sexual prowess.” I linked my fingers and stretched my arms out until they cracked. “Lay it on me.”
“You do have a good reputation on that front,” she acknowledged. “People say you know what you’re doing.”
My grin turned lazy. “Now that’s what I’m talking about.”
“They also say you’re emotionally stunted and jump to the conclusion that everybody wants to be with you long term even if they just suggest getting coffee the next morning.”
I froze, unsure what my reaction was supposed to be here. “Okay.” I dragged out the word.
“Not every woman wants a relationship with you,” she explained in a patient tone. “Like, I didn’t want a relationship with Jake back then. We could have had a fling and remained friends after. That is possible, and you’re cutting off a lot of authors if you have sex with them and then never talk to them again.”
“It’s not as if I never talk to them again,” I protested, not liking—at all—the picture she was painting.
“Name one author you’ve had one of your infamous one-night stands with that you’re still in contact with,” she said. “I’ll wait.”
The pressure was excruciating. “I… cannot be expected to perform on demand,” I said finally. “I’m sure there’s somebody.” Try as I might, no matter how hard I racked my brain, there was nobody. “I don’t like this game.” I folded my arms over my chest, only realizing then that I’d released her hand.
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Nathan,” she assured me. “You make your intentions known and it’s not as if you chase children. Heck, that’s the one thing everybody agrees on. You never pursue anybody under the age of twenty-five or so. You’re not looking for young women you can manipulate. You’re havingyour dalliances with women who know what they’re getting into.”
This felt like a trap. “I’m just not ready for a relationship.”
“That’s fine.” She laughed at my discomfort. “I’m not giving you a hard time about this. Trust me. I wish I had dallied a bit more in college. I allowed Preston to sweep me up too soon. He just… he was offering everything I thought I wanted. He just put it out there. He said he loved me four months in. I realized after the fact that he had a schedule for that stuff, but I fell for it at the time.”
“He love-bombed you,” I guessed.
She opened her mouth then shut it, tilting her head as she considered it. “I know what that word means, and it’s not exactly correct. It’s not exactly wrong, either, and it makes me feel stupid for falling for it.”
“Don’t do that, Bella.” I grabbed her hand again, the zing coursing through me a second time. What the hell was up with that? I forced myself to be honest when regarding her. “You didn’t do anything to deserve what he did. He marked you as somebody he could manipulate right from the start.”
“But shouldn’t that reflect poorly on me?”
“No.” That was one thing I was adamant about. “Your only fault is that you’re too trusting. My mom was that way, so I get it. People take advantage of your good nature. The thing is, it’s impossible to wish that good nature didn’t exist. You just have to learn to better identify those who would use it against you.”
“I stayed with Preston years after I knew it was a bad idea. I just couldn’t make myself leave.”
“Because you were afraid, not because you loved him.”
“Oh, in hindsight, I realize I never loved him. That’s the part that sucks so much.”
“We’re going to figure it out.”
“How can you be sure?”
I shrugged. “Maybe I’m an optimist.”
“You don’t strike me as an optimist.”
“I’m way more optimistic than you.”
“That’s not saying much.”
