Page 132 of Score
“I’ve wanted to do that since the day we met,” he says, his eyes glazed over. “That was incredible.”
“Not for me.” I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and glare at him. “Chris, why’d you kiss me?”
“Well, we’ve been dancing around this thing between us since shooting began.” He rakes his eyes up and down my body. “When I saw you dressed in that and you hugged me, I thought—”
“You thoughtwrong. Chris, we haven’t been dancing around anything. At least I haven’t been. Besides, I’m seeing someone.”
The words leave my mouth before I have time to consider them. Monk and I agreed we weren’t exclusive, and maybe I tell myself Chris will take the rejection better if he thinks there’s someone else. I have to admit, at least to myself, that I want there to be someone else.
I want there to be Monk.
“I’m so sorry.” His face flushes a deep red and, though I know we aren’t that far apart in age, he seems really young. My heart goes out to him, even though my sore lip is holding a grudge. “I-I… oh, God, did I force myself on you?”
“No.” I grimace. “I mean, I didn’t want to kiss you, but I think you just misread the situation. It’s… it’s fine, but you should probably go now.”
“Okay, yeah.” He turns to leave, but sends an anxious look over his shoulder. “Are you sure you—”
“Yup. See you tomorrow.” I close the door and lean against it. My bottom lip throbs and I run my tongue over it to soothe the soreness. “That little stinker bit me.”
I chuckle and turn my phone over and see an unread text.
Monk:Now Canon has pulled me into one of his late-night huddles. See you tomorrow.
It’s probably for the best. I need to write.
“May as well keep going,” I mutter, locking the door and settling in at my laptop for a few more hours.
FORTY-THREE
Monk
I know I’m going through all the right motions. I’ve been rehearsing with Neevah for the last few hours, and her performance is improving, so I must be saying the right things. I must be stretching her range and encouraging her to support the high notes. Most of me is here, doing what I do better than most people in the world.
Music.
But there is a part of me cordoned off and still standing on that beach last night, watching Verity kiss Chris when he left her cottage. That’s what I get for thinking I would surprise her. It was late when Canon finally let us go. Here on location there is no going to her place or mine without the risk of someone seeing. The cast and crew are stacked on one another in the hotel and side by side in the cottages along the shore. I knew it would be hard to see Verity, but two days into the shoot, and I was already missing that ass.
Or was I missing talking about our day until we fall asleep? Waking up and tickling her until she almost pisses her pajamas. Kissing her good morning and goodbye.
Clues that I was in deeper than I should have been because if it was supposed to be about a piece of ass, why was it the other things that I missed most?
There is more music in these sequences since this is the part of Dessi’s life when she and Cal and the band toured Europe. That slice of time before the war when they frolicked on the riviera and did a residency at a luxurious French hotel. It’s also when Tilda writes Dessi that she married a man, a nightclub owner. The song I wrote for that scene, “Walk Away,” is what Neevah and I have been working on all afternoon.
“One more time,” I tell Neevah. “Last one, I promise.”
“You said that an hour ago.” She glares at me, but spoils it with a smile. “But okay.”
The song is in a minor key, and it is a haunting tune about a girl who tells her lover to walk away or she will. As Neevah closes her eyes and delivers the song with as much heart and feeling as I could possibly ask for, I can’t help but think of Verity. She walked away twelve years ago. Or I did. We went our separate ways and it was a clean break. Or as clean as a break can be when one of you is shattered.
But I just had to reach in the cookie jar again searching for something sweet. I lied to myself that I could settle for crumbs, but as soon as I had to share the cookie…
The final notes hang in the air, and Neevah wipes tears from her eyes. Several of the cast and crew who have gathered around to listen have wet cheeks, too. I give her a smile of approval. She’s the star of this thing, no doubt about it. It’s not just her talent, but her character, that makes her exceptional.
“Now that’s a song,” Trey says, leaning his elbows on the top of the piano.
Livvie sits on the bench beside me and serves up a smile that practically simmers with invitation. Was Verity right? Has Livvie been throwing hints like this the whole time? If Verity wants to take advantage of our arrangement, maybe I should, too. I run my knuckle up Livvie’s arm, caressing the warm skin and watching as she shivers. I immediately regret offering her even that small encouragement. Verity may be fine dragging other people into whatever this is between us, but I’m not. Somebody might get hurt.
Somebody already has.
