Page 105 of Score
“Manic cycle at some point,” I finish. “I’m well aware, but it doesn’thaveto be. I’m vigilant. A little blip doesn’t mean everything will fall apart. I can’t live that way.”
“We’re sorry.” Aunt Grace reaches over and takes Aunt Roz’s hand. “But it’s not like you’re close by. You’re clear across the country and we never know if—”
“I’m also thirty-three years old and have been successfully managing this for over a decade. Have I had a few bumps in the road? Sure, but fewand far between, considering. I’m healthy and I’m happy. Please let me enjoy that.”
“Of course, Vee Tee,” Aunt Roz says, her expression softening. “We love you.”
“You just… smother me sometimes.” I press a hand to my temple. “Maybe you shoulda had a kid or something.”
“We did.” Aunt Roz stands and pulls me into a hug, kissing the top of my head. “You.”
My irritation collapses under the sheer weight of their sweetness. They’ve been too good to me. I can endure a bout of extreme concern from time to time.
“A cat then,” I laugh, wrapping my arm around Aunt Roz’s plump middle.
My cell beeps with a text. I jerk out of Aunt Roz’s arms and dive for the phone, willing my heartbeat to slow down.
Mel:Happy Thanksgiving, ladies! Miss you. For the love of God, can we please go somewhere for Christmas?? Preferably to a hemisphere that does not contain my parents. If they ask about grandkids one more time, I cannot be held responsible.
You’re not disappointed Monk didn’t text back. You’ve gone twelve years not hearing from him on Thanksgiving.
I settle into the corner of the love seat and reply to our group chat thread.
Me:Happy Thanksgiving! Same over here. Not the grandkids, but the aunties are in rare form on the home front. What about you, Gem?
No dots appear and there’s no response from Tessa.
Me:Tessa, let us know you didn’t eat yourself into a food coma. I told you to go easy on your mama’s mac and cheese. We need proof of life.
Still no dots. Maybe she’s busy.
Another text comes in, this one from Mel, but on the thread with just the two of us, not the group chat.
Mel:I’m worried about her. I’ve been calling all day and no response. She told me she was back on her meds, but I’m not sure I believe her.
After the confrontation I just had with my aunts, I’m inclined to give Tessa the benefit of the doubt. I know our friends and family love us, but damn. When we come home, we want to feel like family. Not a patient.
Me:I’m sure she’s fine. She’s a grown woman.
Mel:A grown woman who has bipolar and has not been consistent with her meds lately.
Me:She’ll check in. Her family’s probably got a Spades tournament going. You know how they do on the holidays.
Mel doesn’t respond, but her silence sounds loud and skeptical. I’m about to assure her, when Tessa’s response comes through on our group thread.
Tessa:I’m here, guys. Just really busy. I’ll touch base after the holiday. Happy Thanksgiving!
I can’t shake a sense of unease. She’s saying the right things, but she’s been doing this long enough that she can mask for weeks, maybe even months, before someone detects things have gone off course.
I know what it’s like to need space to figure shit out. I’ll let her know I’m here when she’s ready to talk and if she needs me. I text her on the thread with only the two of us.
Me:Hey, you good? Us gems gotta stick together.
Tessa:Lemme guess. Mama Mel is worried.
Me:LOL! Maybe a little, but does she have reason?
Tessa:You of all people know how it goes. Up and down is par for the course. Nothing I can’t handle. I’m fine. I’d tell you if I wasn’t.
