Page 73 of Wild Heart
Anguish.
Contempt.
His pain was the only thing in life that could make me question whether or not I was strong enough.
The urge to break something surged through my bloodstream, and I struggled to beat it back right away. The weight of his body, heavy on my chest, was what I focused on instead. I kept a protective hand on the back of his head, drawing his scent into my lungs.
“You lost a kidney, Ivan, and then you lost a finger, and I’m just so tired of watching you lose things.” I felt his chin tremble. “I can’t take any more pain.”
“Ah, baby, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t do a better job protecting you from it.”
“You did.” He sat up a little, wiping at the tears that tracked through his glitter. “You’ve spent every day of the last five weeks protecting me, but your pain is my pain, and I’m so ferociously tired of men with guns coming after my papa.”
“I’ll retire.”
Done.
I would always be a man with a taste for violence, but I could stop fucking chasing it if that’s what kept his tears from falling.
“I don’t want you to retire. I just…”
He looked away, lashes wet and jaw hard. Throat working against emotion, a moment of silence touched down between us before his eyes found mine again.
“I can barely comprehend how much I love you. Some days, it doesn’t even feel real. Lover, partner, boyfriend… we’re more than that. Words can’t grasp what you are to me, Ivan, and I know you’re my muscled, mobster daddy, but I would die for you too. Any second of any day.”
“The fuck you would! Marcos, I swear to—”
His smile was watery when he palmed my face. “Whatever insane, fiery thing you’re feeling beside your heart right now, I’m feeling the same.”
Gripping his throat, I pulled him closer. A surprised sound left his lips before he surrendered.
“Do you think I care about anything but you? I don’t even know how the fuck I was living before you because I had no world.”
I kissed him without warning, needing his breath more than I did my own. He went slack, offering himself to me the way he did time and time again. Our tongues danced, and he sucked my lips into his mouth, hungry for the way my vow tasted against his own.
That insane, fiery feeling he spoke of was passion, and for him, I felt it on a primal, instinctual level. Any life he thought I could live without him would be nothing but the Hell I spoke so often of, but instead of flames and pain and suffering, there was nothing.
A void.
“Protecting me means protecting you. Take all my goddamn organs and saw off all my limbs because without you, Solnyshko, I’m empty.”
“We’re getting married,” he blurted, and I chuckled.
Of course we fucking were.
“And will you teach me how to shoot?”
“Shoot, what? A fucking gun?”
He nodded and bit down on his lip, shifting against my cock. “Please, Papa? I can’t… I don’t want to feel helpless like that again. I know you can protect me, and I wasn’t afraid to leave with The Wolf because I knew you wouldn’t let me take one step out that door, but… watching you bleed like that? I’ve never felt so paralyzed yet so charged in my life.Hetouchedmy papa, and I know you killed him, but I had to make sure.”
“I know, butterfly.” I kissed him, tightening my fingers around his throat. “You did a good job.”
“I did? I protected you?”
“You did, baby.”
My praise was boundless, and he absorbed it with a long shudder. Whimpering, he slid up my cock before sinking down again. His skin was flushed all over, covered in glitter and bruises.
