Page 16 of The Way We Rot
I swallowed, shook my head. “No, sorry, I didn’t mean that. I just hurt myself, that’s all.” It wasn’t a lie. I slipped up, that’s all, that’s all she’d think. With wide eyes, I implored Sally to drop it. She reached over andgrabbed my cuffed hand. Guilt tickled at my nostrils because I was manipulating her kindness.
“If you need to talk, you can come to me. Request a nurse appointment with me. I’ll make sure it’s noted you can.”
I smiled, really damn grateful she had my back, even if I was a lying asshole. “Thank you.”
She nodded. “Now, I’m sure someone will be in to talk to you soon; the lead CO has been particularly pushy. So I’ll leave you to rest.” She stood and gave me another quick once over. “I understand how much you ladies like your privacy in here.”
And I did. Though I couldn’t do anything with it, I shut my eyes and enjoyed not being observed. I could be anything right now, and no one would know. Be anywhere, do anything. If I closed my eyes and let it wash over me, it was just for myself.
Sally felt like a friend, and I didn’t have many of those. Not in here, not out there. Not even in my head.
I fell into daydreams, a small smile on my face, just pretending to be at a gig, watching a band absolutely destroy their instruments whilesweaty crowds crushed each other to get closer. With no one looking at me, I was there.
No one could say otherwise.
A throat clearing had me opening my eyes back up, frowning, right where I started in this little medical bay. All sterile and white and blue, bright lights. Not unobserved anymore.
“I have some questions to ask you,” CO Darling said, his hands in his pockets as he looked at me. My eyes narrowed. He’d appeared as if from nowhere, but really, I’d been so far in my head he might have been singing with a full marching band for the last ten minutes and I wouldn’t have noticed.
And here he was, interrupting my peace.
Someone had told Randal that I would get naked for him in that cell, and the only person I’d done that for was standing in front of me now. They were easy dots to connect.I was just missing the point.
“I think it would be better if somebody else asked them,” I muttered, turning my face away from him.
He huffed out a breath like he was a bull seeing some little matador waving his red flag, and I rolled my eyes.
It was so hard, keeping my distance from this man. Not physically, that was easy, with all the barriers and bars between us. But in my head, it was beginning to shift around. I pushed just enough that the cuffs bit into my wrists.
“They asked me to check in with you. Protocol,” he grunted, gesturing to the badge he wore with a scowl on his face. “You’re on watch, inmate. So you may as well spill.”
This time, I huffed, still keeping my eyes away from him. For a second, I thought he might reach out and touch me, stroke my foot or fondle my ankle, anything, a bit of connection. But I don’t know why, because the air didn’t even shift around him. He just waited for me, steady and stern.
“Tell me something about yourself first,” I asked, my voice soft as I tried to shuffle and sit, giving up on keeping turned away. I was flat on my back now, peering at him standing by my feet. It was vulnerable, I sighed, unable to sit.
Darling shifted over, taking a few steps to my side before fiddling with the bed, lifting it so I bent at the waist, all mechanical and against my will, even thoughit’s what I wanted. Now I was sitting up, I could see him better. I was more of a human and less of a pig on a table for eating.
Our eyes locked, his swirling with something impossible to label. I fought back everything I could list in my head — desire, anger, a weird, aching need for him to touch me. He never had, not really. Fingers in my mouth didn’t count, arms wrapped around me while I tried to hurt someone also didn’t.
His touch lingered above me, scant inches from my arm, like he might reach out and stroke my skin. His jaw tensed, and I watched, waiting, anticipating anything. Human connection, a transference of power, whatever he wanted to give.
He ripped his hand away with a hiss and huffed, taking a measured step back.
I shook my head. He would not tell me anything; he was happy to jack off to the sight of me locked up and naked, vulnerable, but that was it. He was just like the rest, of course he was. I’d have to recalibrate my mind for that. Pain throbbed through my skull.
“I used to be—” He stopped. Jaw tensed. “I haven’t been aCO very long.”
My eyes darted to his. “And you’re already leading the twats? You must be dedicated to the field.”
“More like forced into it,” he grumbled, and I waited for more. He sank into the chair Sally had vacated, and I smirked when it squeaked under his weight. “Now, questions.”
I nodded.
“You promise to answer?” His tone was a little lighter, and when I met his eye, I saw a mix. He was trying to keep it light, but there was substance underneath it, something like genuine concern. It made my chest squeeze with excitement.
“I promise.”
“Can you tell me what happened? You were found in quite the state in your solitary cell — and it was heavily implied that the things you were found with… weren’t… possible.”
