Page 74 of Rani Deshpande Takes the Wheel
I squeeze her back. We pull away and study each other. Our expressions twist.
“I’m sorry,” we blurt at the same time. There’s a beat. “No,I’msorry,” we say again in unison. We giggle at the repetition. I let her go first.
“I never meant to sound judgmental,” she says.
“You weren’t,” I say. “I was being way too sensitive.”
“You’re my favorite person,” she says.
“You’re mine,” I return.
“Even if I don’t support a specific decision of yours,” she says. “I always supportyou.” She tilts her head at me. “I’m always, always on your side. I’m sorry if that wasn’t clear.”
I blink quickly. “Likewise,” I say, voice warbled. We embrace again, and her eyes are soft when we pull apart. “Still,” I say, tilting my head at her. “The Frank promo was kind of crazy.”
She laughs, raising her hands. “I know, I can own it,” she says. “It wasn’t about Frank so much as I was just trying to offer up an alternative.”
“But I know I’m not blameless,” I say. “I haven’t always been the most supportive about Steve, so it was pretty unfair of me to get so upset when you dished it back to me.”
She shrugs. “He won you over in the end,” she says, and while this is a far too generous take, I don’t push back against it. “I can be open to Kush doing the same with me.”
I might have squandered any prospect of that on Wednesday, but I don’t let myself dwell, not when I have a harder truth to admit. “I think,” I begin, letting the words take shape slowly. “I’ve been a bit jealous of you this last year.” She tilts her head at the admission, surprised, and I force myself to hurry on. “Even if it wasn’t true, it totallyseemedlike you had it all together when I didn’t. Which made me very quick to feel judged or talked down to, when that clearly was never the intention.”
“Never,” she confirms warmly. “And I very much did not have it all together. My advice to you comes from love, never personal expertise.”
This makes me laugh. “Regardless,” I say. “I’m sorry for the overreaction.”
She waves it away. Then she raises a brow. “So what’s the latest,” she says, “on K-word?”
With a sigh, I fill her in on Michael’s intel and the consequential horrible car ride. She listens thoughtfully and purses her lips. “Not to play defense,” she says. “Like, at all, you know my stance. But didn’t he tell you he was planning on reaching out to her at the fair?”
I swallow. This is what I’ve been thinking too. “He did,” I confirm. “And it’s not like I was in a space to let him explain further.”
“Well,” she says. “What do you want to do?”
I have a lot to think through, more work than fathomable cut out in front of me, but for now: “Let’s drive,” I say.
Chapter Thirty-Three
The Rani Deshpande apology tour continues upon my return home. I find Sanju and Nabhi playing a game of one-on-one in the backyard. I intercept a rebound to manufacture a time-out.
“Rani Tai!” Nabhi exclaims in outrage.
“I was gonna get that,” Sanju grumbles.
Nabhi narrows his eyes. “You were not,” he retorts, and the boys start to bicker even as I still hold the ball.
Off to a great start. “Hey!” I say, and they go quiet. “Sorry to cut in, but I wanted to talk for a second, if that’s okay.” One apology to introduce another. The twins gaze at me, expectant, and I take a deep breath. “I’m really sorry about Rakhi,” I go on. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I was upset about something else, and I took it out on you, which isn’t cool.”
The words are true enough. Ultimately, my issues are with Aai Baba, not the twins. While it couldn’t hurt them to show a bitmore appreciation every once in a while, it’s not their fault that the dynamic has been set up this way.
There’s a pause. Then my brothers shrug in unison. “It’s fine,” Sanju says.
“Can we get the ball back?” Nabhi asks.
“Just another second,” I say, hugging the ball to my chest. “I love my gift,” I add, and pleased smiles break out across their faces. While the jewelry trays won’t be prominently on display, as I care too much about my room’s aesthetic, they are functional and look exquisite in my bathroom closet. “And I love being your big sister. Even if it can be a pain sometimes.”
“We love you too, Rani Tai,” Sanju says, the words mumbled given the vulnerability.
