Page 90 of Running Home to You
“You’re welcome.” Abby met her eyes. “I’m sorry. For everything.”
“I’m sorry too.”
“No. You were right about me. About us.”
Kate shook her head and grabbed Abby’s hand with her strong one. “I looked for you last night.” Her throat bobbed. “I wanted to tell you I don’t want this to be it. This can’t be it.”
“It’s not. We have a whole game to play. A trophy to win.”
“I mean after,” she said.
Abby stared at their interlaced fingers. They wove into her like a lifeline, pulling her toward that future they once fantasized of. Kate in law school, Abby back on the field. A dream scenario she could talk about but failed to see.
“I never wanted to fight with you. I never wanted to lose you,” Kate said. “You have to know that I didn’t mean what I said.”
“I never wanted those things either.” She squeezed her hand. “Let’s get through this game first, okay? Together.”
Kate squinted at her and Abby nearly glanced away, scared of what she might detect. That this game wasn’t a new beginning for them. This game was the end.
“Okay,” Kate finally said.
Abby helped her down from the table, and Kate hugged her. “I’m going to miss this,” she whispered into her neck.
Abby closed her eyes and sighed. “Me too.”
For the first time all tournament, the Eagles played in front of a full ballpark. Cameras rolled to broadcast the game for a predictably small audience on a subscription network. The sun beat down on the freshly raked dirt with a touch of humidity in the air, hinting of summer.
The team gathered as Coach Whitley read the lineup one last time, and when the huddle shifted to Kate for the last speech, Abby’sthroat swelled. She shivered as the captain surveyed each player, her blue eyes a scepter of power. Abby notched it in her memory, and years later, would have more images of Kate in her head that day than of any score or play.
After a prolonged pause that infused hair-raising static, Kate nodded. She delivered her short sermon with chilling conviction. “Let’s fucking do this.”
The Eagles received Kate’s brief direction and unprecedented f-bomb in a frenzy. They cheered, jostled each other, and shrieked away nerves. Abby’s cheeks ached from smiling and her heart melted from pride and pining when Kate’s gaze latched onto hers.
Abby admired her all game. Her dives across the dirt, her pained throws for the out, her confidence at bat as she knocked in runs, faked a bunt, and hit a hole. Her laughter, her cheering, her celebrations, a light graze to Abby’s back as they jogged off the field together, all conspired to keep her. And when they turned two to end the game, Abby thought the world intended to force her hand.
Abby slid on her knee to stop the grounder on her weak side, threw it without looking, knowing Kate would arrive. And she did. She stomped the bag for the first out, narrowly avoided the sliding runner, and hurled a laser to Jill. Pain and hope creased her features at the movement of her battered muscles. They froze as the ball traveled for the win. Jill stretched on her good leg for the catch.
And just like that, it was over.
They’d won a national championship.
Mick chucked off her mask and lifted T.K. off her feet. Jill threw the ball high in the air before limping to join them, her sock stained red with blood. Abby and Kate clung to each other, holding on through tears. In the waves of bouncing bodies, Kate seized her cheeks, didn’t seem to care about the possibility of being seen by her parents or anyone else, and kissed her. The raucous team served as a shield against unwanted attention. Their eyes met at release, Kate’s radiating the future, Abby’s the end.
“Come with me,” Kate said.
Abby’s lips parted to speak, when someone poured a water cooler above, soaking them from head to toe. The dogpile overcame them. Abby chuckled at Kate lying beneath her, their noses hovering close, their teammates’ arms and legs a jungle around them. She brushed wet hair off Kate’s forehead. Nearly stole another kiss. She whispered “I love you” instead. Kate whispered the same with her mouth against her ear.
They’d lift the trophy together. They’d spray the champagne she and Mick snuck into their hotel room. They’d kiss and hold hands and fall asleep as one. But before dawn, while everyone snored in drunk exhaustion, Abby gathered her things. She watched Kate nestled in the covers with a stone in her chest. Uncertain of what it would mean for them five years later, she left her a letter and slipped out the door.
The End of Senior Year
Dear Kate,
Two years ago, when I came to Insley, I never imagined that the end would be this hard. I planned on dropping out after a few months, but then there was you. Pulling me out of the darkness, whether I wanted you to or not.
I didn’t mean to fall in love with you, and I know you definitely didn’t mean to fall in love with me. I know it scared you, and you’re braver than I ever gave you credit for going there with me anyway. You’ve never been a coward. Not once.
I don’t think I’ve ever been honest and told you it scares me too, because I don’t know how to have a love like this. A love that’s patient and slow. Life has always been hard and fast for me. Uncertain. Maybe it’s the way I grew up. Maybe it’s just something inside I can’t quite shake.
