Page 108 of Running Home to You
She scoffed. “No.”
“Why do you do it then?”
“I don’t know.” She leaned back and stared at the ceiling. “I’m starting to wonder why I do half the shit I do. I used to say it was for the game, but I can’t feel it again.”
Kate lay next to her, on her side, and Abby shifted to face her. “Why not?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I’m tired.” She sighed. “Leagues always changing and failing, new teams. Tokyo was better I guess, but maybe I lost something after the game show and the commercials. I stopped hearing it or I stopped listening. It warped the field into this thing I didn’t understand anymore. Shiny but spiritless.”
Kate’s heart thundered in recognition, in awe and admiration. The way Abby always cut through what she failed to. She couldn’t help but think of the jumbotrons and church concerts. The go-through-the-motions faith she’d fallen into.
“What?”
“Nothing. I just missed hearing you talk like this.”
Abby’s gaze softened. “What about you? You still believe in the church thing?”
Kate smirked. “Yes, I still believe in the church thing.”
“And the parents?”
“Yeah. They’re around. We still talk.”
“Good.”
“Good?”
“I don’t know.” Abby shrugged. “They like the boyfriend?”
“Yeah. Ryan’s great,” she said, voice rising as she rambled, wishing to hurry through the subject. “He’s a lawyer. We met at Berkeley actually. He helped me stop fearing church, and he’s a born-again virgin too…”
“Oh.”
Kate shut her eyes in mortification. “I don’t know why I told you that.”
“No, it’s fine.” Abby grunted and sat up. “Just feels like we’re back at Insley again. Blake 2.0.”
Kate scowled. “No, it’s not.”
“All right fine, it’s not.” Abby poured herself another drink at the minibar.
“It’s not like you’re much different either.”
“I never said I was.”
Kate frowned as Abby returned to the bed, ice clinking in her glass. “You’re drinking too much.”
“We’re at a bachelorette in Las Vegas.”
“Abby,” Kate said, knowing full well she could stop her mid-breath, stop her from just about anything, by saying her name. “I can see it. The same as back then.”
She’d noticed it in her sunken eyes and the weakness in her smile. While Abby was stronger in many ways, beautiful and magnetic, Kate knew it covered up a flimsy version of her Abby. She knew in her gut, an instinct, that something wasn’t quite right.
“I’m okay,” Abby said, though her hand shook as she set her drink on the nightstand.
Kate didn’t follow up. It wasn’t her place anymore. Abby was no longer hers to worry about. She lay back down on the starched sheets, hating the distance she felt as Abby settled beside her.
“What about you?” Kate asked. “Are you seeing anyone?”
