Page 128 of On His Schedule
“Do you remember what I told you about Madeline?”
“Yeah.”
“I gave you the short version because I hate talking about it. Do you want the long version?”
My stomach rumbles, and my brain tells me that maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up. By bringing up her old feelings, there’s more of a chance she’s going to project it onto me. But I already opened my mouth, so I say, “Yes.” And hope I don’t regret it. After all, I did want to talk, and maybe this is a good start.
“I had two besties in tenth grade. Madeline and Becca, but Madeline and I were inseparable. She came over to my house every day after school. She slept over every weekend. Sometimes I’d go to her house, but we always ended up at mine. Benson was a senior in high school, and he was the captain of the JV team. He was — he was already the version of him you’ve met. He’s a little more big-headed now, but he was the boy in high school thateverygirl drooled over. All the guys wanted to be him, and we had some problems with the senior boys trying to date me. I wasBenson Reeve’s little sister,and everyone alwaysflocked to him.” I can tell by her tone that she didn’t like this. “Madeline always made jokes and flirted with him. It was a normal thing. Becca would, too. My brother always had girls throwing themselves at him.” She inhales. “One night, I woke up, and Madeline was gone.” Her eyebrows reach her hairline like last night was déjà vu for her. “I thought she went home or something, but I noticed her things were still in my room. I searched the house, but she wasn’t anywhere.”
I feel my face go pale.
“I caught them in his bedroom. She had accidentally fallen asleep and didn’t come back to my room.” She shakes her head. “I opened his door, and there she was in his arms.” She stops. Her eyes shine. “I was so mad, Lucy. I was so mad seeing them in that bed together. I was sick to my stomach because it didn’t look like it was the first time. So, I closed the door without saying anything. I went back to my room and waited. In the morning, she woke up and tried to sneak back into my room with her wet hair like she had taken a shower, but I was already awake. I asked her where she had been. She lied. She told me she had gone to the bathroom. I called my brother in. He lied. And then I told them what I saw.” She swallows. “Madeline snapped at me. I don’t even remember what started it because it was so stupid, but when I look back, she was probably pissed my brother rejected her. She called me selfish. She made me feel like I was the problem, like it was my fault they had to sneak around. She screamed at me while my brother stood there without saying a word. She cried in his chest, and then she begged Benson to talk to me. He had nothing to say, Lucy.” Her voice settles, and she doesn’t seem so upset anymore. “He told her that our parents wouldn’t allow us to date, and that he’s told her a hundred times he doesn’t want a girlfriend. And she freaked the fuck out on him. She hit him a few times, so I had to pull her away. Then she hit me.” Gianna inhales. “I had never been in a fight before.”
I nod, putting the pieces together. Gianna is traumatized, and I see it now.
“She wouldn’t stop. Benson finally got her off and told her to go home.” She stares at the wall behind me. “She gave me a bloody nose and bruised my face. I love my brother, Lucy, but there’s a reason I kept him away. And there’s a reason why he respected it.”
I swallow, staring at her. That sounds horrible.
Her mouth forms a line. “My mom and dad were mad at him after what happened with Madeline. They took my side for once, and it felt good that I wasn’t the one who was wrong, but then I didn’t have friends again until Benson went to college.”
I sigh. “That sounds horrible, G. I’m sorry.”
She shakes her head, scoffing. “How could you do this to me?”
My gut sinks.Fuck.She’s right.
She throws her hands around. “I have pictures of my brother in here. I tell you stories about him. I made it clear from the beginning that my brother was off-limits, Lucy. And I just don’t understand. Help me understand.”
I shrug, not knowing where to start. It would all sound pathetic to her ears. He was kind, he makes me feel seen, he doesn’t judge me, and he’s never tried to change me. He’s smart, and he’s hot. “I don’t know.”
“You are exactly like her, Lucy,” Gianna mutters, almost to herself.
The bedroom behind her tilts a half-inch to the right.
“What?”
“You let me think you were my best friend, and the moment you met my brother, youchosehim. The moment he gave you attention, you gobbled it up, Lucy.”
I stare at her and question myself.Did I do that?
“You did,” she says to me.
“I’m not going anywhere, G. I’m still your best friend. I would never fight you because of him.”
She laughs, and the laugh is a sound that comes out broken. “But you’refuckingmy brother.”
I cave into myself. My heart is going faster than it should be going.
“I gave you a chance and you still chose him. What the hell am I supposed to do now?”
“Why are you making me choose?” I ask.
“Because I am tired of sharing everything in my life with my brother! You are either my friend or you are his.”
I swallow, her words hitting me right in the gut. “That’s not fair.”
Her frustration is back in the present moment. The trip down memory lane didn’t solve any of her anger towards me. “This is why I didn’t introduce you to him for years despite the fact that wearebest friends and roommates. I literally cannot believe you right now, Lucy. You don’t even date.”
