Page 72 of Lau Ahi
“You’re joking.”
My brow arched at the incredulous way she spoke to me. “I’m not.”
“Are you truly getting married?”
“Yes, I am.”
“This seems like something that didn’t just happen. How many other people heard about this before me?”
“Because it’s not that big a deal.” I wasn’t sure why I’d spoken of my getting married. I hadn’t even put in a time off request nor did I have a ring as a token of the supposed marriage. Things I’m sure she was going to call into question.
“Not that big a deal? We’ve been friends for years, I thought I would’ve been one of the first people to know about this.” Margo’s voice was measured but she was angry. Her neck was getting redder, a contrast to the pale green button-up she wore.
“Seeing as I’ve said nothing to anyone, you are amongst the first to hear me confirm it.”
“Amongst. What does that mean exactly?” Her tone was haughty and I wondered where she got off thinking she was so damn important.
“Is this some sort of pissing contest? I don’t understand why this is such big news to everyone.”
“Because I didn’t even know you had a partner let alone been in something serious enough to get married.”
“I guess when you know you know.” I sounded cliché, but what the hell was I supposed to say? I was an heiress and my father arranged a marriage for me to a man so that he could help overthrow the power our corrupt government had in our home country? That was far too much information for someone like Margo who I was sure would carry it back to whomever would listen. I refused to let her spread my business around for idle gossip. I wasn’t even going to invite anyone from here to attend so it truly wasn’t any of her business.
“Are you marrying him for a green card? Do we need to set up some type of sponsorship for you?” She’d leaned forward again as though offering me a lifeline, and her self-importance amused me. I couldn’t help but laugh in her face because who in the hell was desperate enough to be tied to this country if they didn’t have to be? I had two separate citizenships and didn’t want a third. Marrying Ori would make me eligible for US citizenship, but I was so disinterested in any of that I hadn’t bothered to look into any of the logistics.
“No offense but who would want to be willingly bound to this country with the state it’s in right now?”
She gasped as if I’d paid her some grave insult. “Well, if it’s so bad—”
My hand rose and I stopped her before she said something that would completely disgust me.
“Don’t do that. That thing that white people in this country do where their reflex to constructive criticism is going straight racist under the guise of patriotism. Don’t put words to being that person. As though the only reason that you all are here wasn’t because you wanted to escape the bullshit from where you all originated.”
She took a deep breath like she was going to check herself but the damage was already done. I felt disgusted at the way her mask had slipped. “I’m sorry but I don’t understand how youhave the gumption to be angry about my questions so you lash out with being rude.”
I blinked slowly wondering if there were truly a manual for how white people attempted to escape claims of racism. Her attempt to point out that I was being rude instead of addressing her prejudice was telling.
“What’s rude about it? We are seeing the erosion of every liberty that people in this country fought and died for. It’s ridiculous to be anything but critical of what is happening now and if you don’t see it that’s because your privilege prevents you from seeing it. I have no problem with being called out on my shit because the purpose of life is to evolve and improve. It’s clearly not something you strive for.”
“Wow, that’s really a gross take coming from you.” Her nose was wrinkled and lifted as though she were looking down at me.
Oh, now the gloves were about to come out. “Coming from me? Please, elaborate, I beg of you.”
“You wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for colonization. Your homeland is on an entirely different continent.” Her brow was furrowed and I knew she was trying to find a way to ease the feelings she had about being called out. It was funny because she only backed herself into a bigger hole with her latest attempt.
I chuckled as I leaned back watching her face as she attempted to overcome the cognitive dissonance she was experiencing by lashing out.
“As are yours. Let’s not forget you’re not native to this land and neither are any of your ancestors, despite all theCherokee princessesthat seem to magically pop up in conversations like this to give your bloodline validity of being from this soil. Of course you’re too much of awaspto ever claim something so primitive as being native.”
“Wow, that was borderline racist.” Margo’s quivering voice signaled we were moving into the tears portion of the conversation.
I shot her a pitying look not at all dissuaded at her attempts to gaslight me. I started to wonder how the hell she’d earned her degrees because her attempts at all of this were pedestrian at best.
“Now, Margo. You, with all your degrees, aren’t going to sit here and tout something as being racist when you know that’s fundamentally incorrect. And frankly, if anyone is going to give you advice on how things are in this country it would be me. I’m an outsider. I don’t have skin in the game and I’m unmoved by the ridiculous displays of Americana. I’m a British citizen, I already know the playbook. They’re the OG colonizers, although you all took some things to an even deeper level of hell.”
Realizing that her arguments weren’t sound and she wasn’t about to get out of this as cleanly as she assumed she shifted her position.
“I was just saying that if you needed help you wouldn’t need to sacrifice yourself in order to stay here. I wasn’t sure if you’d been threatened and that’s why you were even working on this case. If so, I could take your place and then help you stay here.”
