Page 165 of Lau Ahi
“The truth. We’re in this together, right? I think I’ve shown that I’m useful to you in some ways even if you only need me in a limited capacity.” A look passed between us and I felt bad for bringing up the ladder in jest at a time like this.
“So you’re a truth seeker tonight? I hadn’t thought you interested in learning anything about me judging on how you’ve behaved thus far.”
“Then allow me to correct the mistake of not showing you that I am. That only seems fair. It only seems natural that I have an interest in my wife. Something that is far more in-depth than knowing only the basics about her.”
She looked hesitant to respond almost debating with herself with being honest.
“I’m sure you know far more than the basics. An organisation like yours doesn’t do basics. You’re not the type of person who would give up the autonomy he’s gained through his work to be a part of something that didn’t allow him to exert even more power. It’s just not your personality.”
“More of your careful observation?”
“Something like that.”
Another brief truce I wanted to take advantage of.
“Are you going to answer the question or not?”
Hesitation but the wall hadn’t gone up. “That depends.”
This was progress.“On?”
“What do I get in return?”
“You want to hear about the first time I murdered someone?” I knew trading murder stories wasn’t what she wanted but it kept the mood lighter between the two of us.
“No. I feel as though it would be mundane and repetitive. I’m sure you were in the wilds somewhere on a mission for someone and it wouldn’t be nearly as interesting as I’d want.”
That piqued my curiosity because there was no reason for her to want to hear about what I’d done in the name of my brothers. I would think it would turn her stomach but yet she acted as though hearing this would be nothing more than an interesting bedtime story for her.
Maybe Vega was right about me sleeping next to her.
“Then what can I bargain for your truth?”
“Your truth. Whenever I ask.”
“You already have that.” She studied me for a moment before I nodded my head in agreement. I felt desperate to know what she’d been holding back and I would be fine with whatever she wanted in return for her truth.
“There was a neighbor boy next door. Some pompous, titled little asshole who frankly was the type of man that would’ve never amounted to much had he been allowed to live.” Asha’s eyes had gotten far away despite her looking directly at me.
“Allowed?”
“He did something completely incomprehensible and therefore he lost his life.”
Now we were getting somewhere. I tried not to tense as she spoke, my body immediately reacting to her having been in danger. My mind went to her thighs and the marks there. Then to her confession of having been harmed. “And what did he do?”
“The first time he didn’t get caught. The girl’s family had no power. And even when hisattentionsresulted in a pregnancy, they forced her and her family to agree to get rid of it.” Ashalooked so sad at her memories it immediately pissed me off more.
“What the fuck do you mean forced?” Depending on how long ago this happened I had enough pull at Interpol and Scotland Yard to help this girl.
“Meaning that they threatened to have her family deported. Again, these are people that you so eloquently pointed out have only been in the country for a few generations. Like so many countries can attest, hatred toward immigrants and migrants grows once their utility to whiteness has been completed. For African Americans, it was when they could no longer have their labor exploited. Then there were the calls to return everyone to the Motherland. In England, it was similar because immigrants helped to rebuild the country after the Second World War. They used their labor and then expected them to head back to their countries afterward. Instead, they made their homes on the country their labor at home and in England had built.” Her bitterness at the injustice seeped through every word.
“And just like here, so many people have a problem with that.”
“Precisely. So there was genuine fear that they would be deported and then unable to care for the child.”
“And you came in to be a harbinger of justice.”
“No.” Her face fell at her words the cloud of disappointment lingering heavy over her. I wondered why she was internalizing this so I pressed her again.
