Page 104 of Deathless
"See what?"
"You with a family." He kept his gaze on the last band of color at the horizon.
I exhaled smoke through my nose.
"Is it worth it? The vulnerability."
I thought about Mila's hand in mine this morning when a door slammed too loudly. I thought about Diego's arm thrown across my chest in the dark, heavy even in sleep.
"Yes," I said.
Rhadamanthys stood.
"You going alone?" I asked, flicking ash over the edge.
"Nevada's coming with me." He adjusted his hat. "Take care of your family, Jasper." Then he turned and disappeared down the stairs. His footsteps faded until there was only wind.
The cigarette burned between my fingers.
The door opened again a few minutes later. I knew the footsteps before I turned. Lighter than Rhadamanthys's, with a slight hesitation that meant favoring one side.
"Thought I'd find you up here." Diego's voice was rough with sleep.
"Did I wake you from your nap when I left?"
"No." He sat beside me, his shoulder pressing against mine. "Mila's with my mother. Cookies."
"They'll be baking all night."
"It's how Mamá shows love."
"It's how she copes. She fed me six empanadas when we got back."
"Only six? You got off easy." He leaned into me, careful of his shoulder, and I leaned back.
The stars came out. His breathing settled into a rhythm that matched mine, something we'd been doing since the farmhouse. Since Brussels, maybe.
"Rhadamanthys left," Diego said. "He okay?"
"He thinks Hades is in Mexico." I flicked ash into the dark. "He and Nevada are leaving."
Diego made a low sound in his throat and slid his fingers through mine on the gravel. His skin was rough against mine.
"You okay?" he asked.
I took a drag. "I don't know."
"That's honest, at least."
He traced the inside of my wrist with his thumb. Three days since Kiev, and we'd barely touched beyond bandage changes and the weight of his arm in sleep.
"You're good for her," he said. "You know that."
I looked at the road below us.
"I don't know what the hell I'm doing."
"None of us do." He squeezed my hand. "That's the secret. We're all making it up."
