Page 25 of Her Brother's Keeper
Jane shrugged a little. “Oh, you know Mama. She is not, not really, but the idea of my marriage to such a prominent man makes her so happy, she can scarcely help herself.”
“How does the idea of your marriage to such a prominent man makeyoufeel?” Elizabeth asked it with a smile, so that her sister knew it was a tease, and she could ignore it if she wished. But Jane blushed ever so slightly, and looked at her feet.
Elizabeth was not very surprised at this, even after so short a time. “Jane, I am so happy for you! Happy that you have found someone you can love!” She found a burning desire to share her own mixed feelings of expectancy and confusion over her interactions with Mr Darcy, to tell her that he had promised to teach Neddy something of riding—that it meant he would come again. Although it had been three days since that promise, three days since his visit, so possibly he had immediately regretted it. Before she could decide whether or not to say anything, she saw Jane’s blue eyes, so like Neddy’s, overflow.
“Why, what is the matter, dearest?” Alarmed, Elizabeth reached over to lay her hands upon her sister’s.
“I cannot think a marriage will ever take place. Mr Bingley does care about me, I am sure. I care about him. But I dare not think of marriage.”
“If anyone in this entire valleyshouldthink of marriage, it is you!”
“Oh, Lizzy, it is but a dream. Firstly, he is the handsomest man I have ever seen.”
“You are the handsomest woman!”
“He could have anyone! After staying in his home for a few days, I saw for myself how prosperous he and his family are. Why, his sister, Louisa, has a home in Mayfair!”
“Louisa?” Elizabeth queried, eyes widening.
“She gave me leave to call her that—both she and Caroline were so very friendly when I was ill. They spent hours with me and I believe we became quite close. They were extremely solicitous of my welfare.”
“Jane, this is something! If they are willing to be on such an informal footing, they must approve of you! Having the friendship and respect of Mr Bingley’s sisters is approbation of the first order!”
“It is not that they do not approve of meper se. It is that his expectations are so much higher.”
“Perhaps he could find someone wealthier, but he could never find someone who could be a better wife to him, and a better mother to his children.”
But Jane continued to weep. “Yes, I fear he could. Lizzy, what if any children I bear are like Neddy?”
Elizabeth froze. She never considered Neddy’s troubles to be of the blood! She refused to believe it.
Pain filled her heart. Jane thought of Neddy aslesser, asdefective. The hurt of it, of hearing her sister’s fears, curdled in her gut, a stabbing ache in her belly, in her heart, in her soul. “Neddy is wonderful!” she protested. “He is the most loving, most delightful, dearest little boy ever born!”
“Of course he is,” Jane said immediately. “It is…we do not know, do we, how much more he can…can learn?”
Elizabeth grit her teeth. “He can, and he will. I see small signs of his progress, and I see it often. Perhaps it is a much slower progress than is usual for most children, but it is steady.”
“It is?” Jane appeared doubtful. “Uncle Philips says that by now?—”
Elizabeth cut her off, anger filling her, her words emerging more resolutely than was usual in their conversations. “What do you know of how children learn, Jane? Why would you even listen to Mr Philips, who has never been a father? Perhaps, yes, Neddy is not as other children his age. It does not mean he is not as worthy as any other child. He is the master of Longbourn! Or, he should be! He is not an undeserving or pitiful oddity.” But as Neddy jumped up and down in delight over a page of a book that he could not read, Elizabeth had to acknowledge that it was not so cut and dried as that. Her brother brought her much more joy than he caused her pain, but she, too, had her fears.
“I did not mean that as it sounded,” Jane answered quietly.
Elizabeth took a deep breath. “I have the confidence that if I had real help, Neddy could be taught much more than is currently possible. Did we not teach him to use the chamber-pot? Does he not know the names of a hundred animals? Is he not resilient, brave, ever seeking, and constantly entranced with the world around him? How many children can you say that about?”
“I do not know many children,” Jane admitted. “It is…the noises he makes. They do not sound…right.”
“Neddy is not a simpleton,” Elizabeth replied, making sure her tone was mild and even but firm.
“Oh, no, of course he is not,” Jane agreed immediately. She cast a look at her bouncing brother that expressed her doubts.
“Have you told Mr Bingley or his sisters about him?”
“What? Oh, no. Our conversations have not been on the topic of my family. Indeed, I would not want to bring it up. His sisters have very high expectations of his marriage, and my birth has been the key point in my favour. I dare not mention that there is any possible defect in my blood.”
“Jane Bennet!”
Jane’s head snapped up, as if she was surprised at Elizabeth’s stern tone.
