Page 56 of The Duke's Promise to Her Child
She was quiet for a moment. “In London we were acquaintances working toward a common goal,” she said. “That is what you proposed.”
That stung more than he had expected. He had felt that they were considerably more than that. Had she truly not felt it?
“Do you regret this marriage?” he asked. He had learned that bluntness was the only approach that worked with her.
“It is not what I had imagined for myself,” she said. “And I did not know what you wished for either. But I will do my best to be a good Duchess and a good wife. Within the terms of our arrangement.”
The terms of our arrangement. He felt as though he were in a meeting with one of his solicitors. But he let it pass.
“I do not want this to feel like a business arrangement,” he said. “Even though it is one, in its origins. I would like us to be a family of sorts — an unconventional one, certainly, but a family. We will be spending the rest of our lives together, after all.”
This time Helena looked up and held his gaze, and did not look away. He could see it occurring to her, perhaps for the first time in its full weight — that this was not a temporary arrangement, not something with an end point she could see from here. They were husband and wife. They would be until one of them was not. That was simply what it was.
She parted her lips. Then closed them. Then opened them again.
“It has been difficult,” she admitted. “This transition. I never thought I would be a Duchess, and now I am. I am also a wife and a mother, on a large estate with a great many people dependent upon us. I am still finding my feet. I am sorry if I have been — distant.”
“I understand,” he said. “And I want to be here for you while you find them. Will you let me?”
She nodded.
“Good,” he said. “Then let us begin tomorrow morning. The three of us — you, me, and Lavinia — will take a walk around the lake. I understand it is rather spectacular, and Lavinia will certainly find something to shout at.”
That almost produced a smile. They settled into the second course in a more comfortable silence than the one that had preceded it, and he felt something loosen in his chest — some tightness that had been sitting there since their arrival began, by degrees, to ease.
The following morning he took breakfast alone in his chamber, as was his custom. Helena and Lavinia had their breakfast together in the nursery, and he had no intention of altering that arrangement.
He was waiting on the front steps when Helena emerged, dressed in a pale blue gown with puffed sleeves that looked rather lovely against her auburn hair. Lavinia came behind her in a pink dress, her lips conspicuously decorated with what appeared to be the remnants of a drinking chocolate.
He went down on one knee in front of her. “Did you have drinking chocolate for breakfast, young lady?”
“Yes,” she confirmed solemnly.
He fished a handkerchief from his pocket, dampened the corner with his tongue, and applied it to her mouth.
“Ewww!” Lavinia announced, wiping the back of her hand across her face.
“Yes,” he said. “That is exactly what I used to say when my mother did it to me. Though I was a good deal older than you are. In fact I am not certain I remember being your age at all.”
Lavinia tilted her head to one side, examining him.
“Pap,” she said, and reached both arms toward him.
He stood and settled her on his hip. “Very well. But we really must teach you to say up.”
“And why is that,” Helena said, with the glimmer of the old Helena he had been looking for at dinner. “Are you expecting to encounter young ladies who need convincing you are not her father?”
“I am married,” he said. “I have no plans of that sort.”
“You are married,” she said, “but our arrangement stipulated that you were free to?—”
He let out a slow breath. “I have no intention of taking a carte blanche on that front,” he said, beginning to walk, “if that iswhat you are suggesting. I would also point out that we have been married less than three weeks, and I would prefer not to be discussing the taking of lovers at this hour of the morning.”
“Lovers,” Lavinia repeated, with great clarity and satisfaction.
He closed his eyes. “Yes. Thank you. We are going to have to be very careful what we say in front of her. She is going to be like a little parrot.”
“And she will be a very accurate one,” Helena agreed.
