Page 155 of Fever Dream
“Let me finish. Every step of the way, you’ve been nothing but selfless. You’ve protected me at every turn. You’ve loved bigger and harder than any man has ever loved his family. And I’m sorry that this show and these people took advantage of your good nature and your soft heart. I’m sorry that I let them get in my head. I’m sorry that I worried you.” The more I talk, the more emotional I become. The more I think of him, searching the valley for me, distraught, upset, wounded, the sicker I feel. “And I’m—”
“Julia, I love you,” he cuts in, holding me back to stare down into my eyes. “Don’t you get it? I love you. There is nothing you could do to keep me away. There is nothing I wouldn’t forgive you for. There is nothing I won’t do to keep you safe. Don’t you see? I need you in the worst way. I’m fucking terrified by it, by the enormity of it, by the weight of it, by the endlessness of it.”
He shakes his head, eyes shining like he can’t believe his own words. “I can barely breathe when I look at you. But when I’m not looking at you, it feels like I’m drowning. And it hurts, Jules. It always hurts. Everyone I love… they never last. There’s this tiny voice in my head telling me to push you away, to set you free, to not shackle you with this—withme. And I never want to hold you back, but, goddammit, Julia, I don’t think I can bear to let you go. So you might just have to be stuck with me.”
A stray tear trails down my cheek. His gaze traces it as one thumb moves up to brush it away. I shake my head in disbelief, setting another tear loose down my opposite cheek.
“Emmett, people who love you will never hold you back. They will lift you up. Being loved by you? It doesn’t feel like being shackled.” I reach up, dusting my fingertips over his forehead and across the top of his perfectly golden hair. “It feels like the most precious gift. It feels like finally coming home.”
I push up onto my tiptoes and kiss him, hard and tender all at once, pouring myself into it, wanting him to feel my love.
This man sprouted from a boy who, somewhere along the way, convinced himself that there was something unlovable about him. That hiding his heart away would be for the greater good.
But that stops here. That ends with me. I pull back only far enough to murmur against his lips. “Emmett Brandt, don’t you get it? I love you too.”
My whispered words make him drop his head into the crook of my neck and breathe me in. I feel the dampness from his eyesagainst my skin as my fingers trail through his hair the way he did mine earlier in bed.
“So if you don’t mind, I’ll keep loving you back. And hopefully, that feeling will hurt a little less every day. Because you’re stuck with me. This is going to last. I feel it in my bones. So I’m glad I’m here, shackled to you. It’ll give me all the time in the world to show you how good we’re going to be.”
His shoulders heave on a silent sob, and he grips me tighter.
He kisses my neck. And I kiss his cheeks.
And when he draws back, we stare at each other. He searches my face, and I search his.
I think we’re both looking for a shred of doubt. And we find nothing but love brimming there.
He nods slowly now, lifting his fingers to trace them over my cheekbone, my hair, over my throat. Like he can’t believe that I’m here standing before him.
He swallows, and I watch his Adam’s apple bob. And then he peeks back up at me through tear-clumped lashes. “We are going to be good, aren’t we?”
CHAPTER 47
Emmett
Emmett
Troops. Julia and I can’t leave the cabin, but we’re out of food. So… send help, aka food.
Riley
Boning too much to leave the house might be an excessive amount of information for the family chat. Sorry, I can’t help—I’m out of town.
Evan
I could bring you something. But I’m going to need you to be decent when you answer the door.
Emmett
You guys, please stop. I’m working on getting out of the show contract. And for legal reasons, cannot leave the house. We are starving, though.
Parker
If this has to do with skewering that Dick Wad creep, then count me in. I’ll bring you all the food you want.
Opa
Me too. I fucking hate that guy.
