Page 12 of Equilibrium
His blood, the blood of everyone I’d killed. Men, women, children; their blood was on my hands.
I condemned them. I did this. I was the disease fucking up this entire world. Oh God.
“No, no, no.” I started shaking my head. “Stay away from me! You’re dead. I saw you die. I killed you.”
“Ophelia.”
“No.” I closed my eyes. “You’re not real. None of you are real.”
I started pushing backward until I hit the wall, and then hugged my knees.
“You’re not fucking real!”
Kieran crawled to me, trying to touch my face, but I ducked down and without too much thinking, I punched him in the face. He fell back, holding his nose, and when he removed his hand, I realized what I’d done.
It wasn’t Kieran, it was Atlas with blood trickling out of his nose.
“Oh my God.”
“What the fuck, Ophelia?” he yelled.
“I’m sorry, Atlas.” I came closer to him. “I don’t know... I just, I didn’t see you. It was... It was—”
“Well, whatever the fuck it was, you almost broke my nose.”
The bystanders kept their distance from us, their stances hostile. I mean, I would be hostile as well if somebody punched my enforcer without being provoked.
Fucking shit.
It was happening again. I was seeing them again, but most of all, I was seeing Kieran. First the dream and now this.
“I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to hit you. I didn’t see you.”
And I was sorry. He didn’t deserve to be punched in the face, but it wasn’t him I saw, but fucking ghosts of my past.
Atlas grumbled some more, but after a minute or so, he pulled himself up, wiping away the blood on his chin. It was still trickling out of his nose, but it could’ve been worse.
“Come on.” He extended a hand to me. “Up you go. It’s fine, I’ll survive.”
For the first time in my life, I felt bad for somebody.
I took his hand and stood up, still feeling shaky from the ordeal just a few minutes ago. I needed water, or a nap. Preferably both.
“I really don’t know what—” I started when a new voice cut me off. A voice I knew from before. A voice belonging to the person I thought was dead.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
Nathan, Ava’s Nathan, stood at the entrance to the room, the murderous glare on his face directed at me. I thought they killed him.
“Nathan?”
Was I seeing things again? No, no I wasn’t, because I wasn’t the only one looking at him. Atlas had a confused look on his face, and the guys that seemed ready to fight before now looked terrified.
Well, good to know that I didn’t go completely crazy. Just slightly.
Nathan crossed the room in a blink of an eye, and before I could move away from him, he had me pinned to the wall, his elbow pressing at my throat.
“I asked you a question, bitch.” He sneered at me. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
