Page 48 of Renegade Kingdom
You are. You’re watching them grow into their power while you hide in the shadows, and you’re jealous that it seems to come so easily to them.
“I’m not hiding. I’m observing.”
The bear made a sound that was dangerously close to a snort.You should spend less time observing and more time practising. Your magic is just as new as his. Just as untested. When the time comes, will you be ready?
It was a fair question. One I didn’t have an answer to. The Spring Court’s power hummed through my veins constantly now, a green and growing thing that felt like roots spreading through my chest. But I hadn’t tested it. Hadn’t pushed it the way Ryder was pushing his, the way Alyssa pushed hers every single day. I’d been too busy watching. Too busy making sure everyone else was safe and prepared and looked after.
Too busy hiding,the bear corrected.
“I’m not…”
Though I will admit,the bear continued, his tone shifting to something warmer,watching Alyssa is never a waste of time. Look at her. She’s magnificent.
I couldn’t argue with that. Shewasmagnificent. Fire wreathed her arms as she deflected another of Ryder’s wind strikes, hergolden hair streaming behind her, her face alight with the fierce concentration that I’d come to love more than almost anything else about her. She was a force of nature wrapped in mortal flesh, and every time I looked at her, something in my chest ached with how much I loved her.
We should be down there with her,the bear said.Training at her side. Not lurking in the shadows like a lovesick cub.
“I’m not lurking.”
You’re absolutely lurking.
I was so busy arguing with the bear that I didn’t notice they’d finished training until the ring went quiet. The wind died down, the fire extinguished, and I turned to slip away before either of them spotted me.
Alyssa was standing directly behind me.
I managed not to jump, but it was a close thing. She had her arms crossed over her chest and an amused expression on her face that told me she knew exactly how long I’d been watching.
“Enjoying the show?” she asked.
“Just came to get you for the meeting.” The words came out too quickly, and her smile widened.
“Uh huh.”
Ryder must have gone inside to change when Alyssa ducked back to catch me in the shadows. We’d all grown close, messed into a pack so entwined that there would be no separating us. Maybe it was the magic, maybe it was just what happened when a group of people went through what we had. And there was still so much more lingering on the horizon waiting for us.
“Do you think he’s ready?” I asked, turning to Alyssa. “Strong enough to face the Autumn Guardian?”
She was quiet for a moment, considering the question seriously rather than offering easy reassurance. It was one of the things I appreciated most about her. She never lied to make people feel better.
“I don’t think it comes down to strength,” she said finally. “Not really. The Guardian isn’t looking for someone who can overpower them. They’re looking for someone worthy. Someone who deserves to carry the court’s magic.” She glanced in the direction that Ryder must have gone, warmth softening her expression. “And I think Ryder has always been worthy. He just needed to believe it himself.”
He’ll do well,the bear said.When the time comes.
I hoped he was right.
But when Alyssa turned back to look at me, there was something in her expression that I couldn’t quite read. A tension around her eyes. A tightness in her jaw.
“Am I neglecting you?”
The question caught me completely off guard. “What?”
“You. Dean. Maddox. Ryder.” She said each name like a weight she was carrying. “I feel like I’m not spending enough time with any of you. There’s always something else that needs doing, someone else who needs help, some other crisis that demands my attention. And you’re all just... there. Patient. Waiting. Supporting me. And I’m not giving anything back.”
I stared at her for a long moment, trying to understand where this was coming from. Then I closed the distance between us and took her face in my hands, tilting it up so she had to meet my eyes.
“You have a lot on your plate right now,” I said firmly. “More than any one person should have to carry. You don’t need to worry about me. Or the others, for that matter. We’re not waiting for you to give us something. We’re here to support you. To see you through this. To see all of us through this.” I brushed my thumb across her cheekbone, feeling the warmth of her skin beneath my touch. “There will be plenty of time to live life and enjoy each other when Arik is in the ground. Right now, you focus on keeping us all alive. Let us worry about everything else.”
Her eyes searched mine, looking for something. Reassurance, maybe. Or permission to stop carrying yet another burden.
