Page 29 of Renegade Kingdom
I didn’t understand how I knew how to do the things I’d done. No one had taught me. No one had shown me the way. It was like the knowledge was just there, buried somewhere deep, waiting for me to reach for it.
But reaching for it blindly felt dangerous. And Damon couldn’t afford for me to make mistakes. I was messing around in his head. That wasn’t something you took lightly.
There was something about him that called to me. Something that felt like the bond I shared with my other mates, but muted. Buried. Like a song playing in another room, just barely audible through the walls. He was supposed to be one of us. I knew it with a certainty that went beyond logic or reason.
But what did that mean? What would it look like if he survived this? Would the bond snap into place the way it had with the others? And why did it feel so muted and shadowed now? Was it the nightmare? Was it because Damon was supposed to evolve into something more than human, just like his brothers had? Would we finally get the chance to explore what we could be together?
Or would I lose him before we ever had the chance to find out?
My thoughts spiralled deeper, darker. Too many questions without answers. Too many possibilities, most of them ending in grief. I needed to figure out how to get stronger. I needed to understand my magic. I needed to save him before the nightmare won and I lost another person I…
A hand on my cheek made me jump.
My eyes snapped into focus to find Dean standing directly in front of me, his brow furrowed with concern.
“I was talking to you,” he said quietly. “You didn’t hear a single word.”
“I’m sorry.” The apology came out automatic, distracted. “I was just... thinking.”
Warmth pressed against my side as Ryder leaned into me, his hand brushing slowly up my back. The touch grounded me, pulling me back into my body, into the present moment.
“We’re worried about you,” Ryder said softly. “How are you really feeling? And don’t give us the ‘I’m fine’ answer. We can feel you through the bond, remember?”
I looked between them, only now registering that the room held just the three of us. “Where are the others?”
“Tank and Maddox are checking in on the wounded and taking stock of the supplies,” Dean explained. “Seeing what we have to take with us to the Fifth Court. Rhidian had a collection of maps in his cabin. They’re sorting through them to see if anything can help us navigate the Wildling Forest.”
I nodded, hearing the words but still feeling distant from them. Still half-lost in the spiral of my own thoughts.
Dean’s eyes narrowed slightly. He knew me too well to let it go.
“You need something to quiet your mind,” he said firmly. “You need to let go and relax, or you’re going to burn yourself out before we even start this journey.”
“I can’t just turn it off, Dean.” The frustration leaked into my voice despite my best efforts. “There’s too much to do. Too many plans to make. Too many people counting on me to have answers I don’t have.”
He kissed me.
No warning, no hesitation. Just his mouth on mine, warm and demanding, swallowing whatever else I might have said. His hand slid into my hair, tilting my head back, and I found myself melting into him despite everything. Desperate for the feel of him. For the steady warmth that his presence always brought.
When he pulled back, there was a cocky look on his face that made something flutter low in my belly.
“That’s better,” he murmured. Then his thumb and forefinger caught my chin, turning my head to the side. “Now him.”
Ryder was already there, waiting. His kiss was different from Dean’s. Slower. Sweeter. His lips moved against mine with a tenderness that made my chest ache, and I whimpered softly into his mouth as his hand came up to cradle the back of my neck.
When he finally released me, I was breathing harder. The spiral in my mind had gone quiet, replaced by something much simpler. Much more primal.
Dean’s hands hooked under my thighs, and suddenly I was being lifted off my feet. My legs wrapped around his waist instinctively as he carried me toward the bed.
“We’re going to look after you,” he told me, his voice low and rough with promise. “That’s the only thing you need to think about right now.”
“But what about...” I struggled to hold onto the thread of concern even as my body responded to his closeness. “Our magic did something we didn’t understand the last time we were together. It might not be safe to go there right now. What if we call on levels of power we don’t know if we can control?”
Ryder moved to stand beside us, his hand trailing along my bare arm. “This is the safest place we’re going to get for a while. Soon we’ll be on our way to the Fifth Court, and we don’t know what being there will do to our magic.” He caught my eye, his expression softening. “We should get a sense of what it’s like before we go. But if you want to stop, if you just want to lie in the bed, we’ll hold you until you’re able to fall asleep. Whatever you need.”
I thought about it. Really thought about it, despite the heat building between my thighs and the way Dean’s hands gripped me possessively.
When I was with my mates, I felt peace. My magic was right there at the surface, but it was calm. Waiting. Not demanding or overwhelming, just... present. Ready.
