Page 26 of Renegade Kingdom
“I’m tired,” I said, and it wasn’t entirely a lie. “I need to think about this. Give me some time.”
Maddox looked like he wanted to argue, but Dean put a hand on his shoulder, holding him back. Ryder’s face had gone carefully blank.
“We’re not giving up on you,” Maddox said fiercely. “You hear me? Whatever you decide, we’re not giving up.”
“I know.” I managed something that might have been a smile if it hadn’t felt so hollow. “I’ll think about it, Maddox. I promise.”
It was enough to satisfy him. Barely. He turned and headed for the ladder, Ryder and Tank following. Dean lingered a moment longer, his eyes searching my face for something I didn’t know how to give him.
Then he was gone too, and I was alone with the silence and the shadows and the thing that lived inside my head.
That was touching, the nightmare said, its voice dripping with mockery.All that love. All that hope. It’s almost cruel, really. Letting them believe there’s still something worth saving in here.
Shut up.
You know I’m right. You can feel yourself eroding. Every day there’s a little less of you and a little more of me. The bite won’t change that. Nothing will change that.
I said shut up!
Why fight it?The nightmare’s voice turned silky, persuasive.I’ve offered you a deal before. Give me control willingly. Let me do what needs to be done. I’ll save the rest of my kind, and then you’ll be free. I’ll let you go. You can finally rest.
I could hear the lie underneath the pretty words. The nightmare didn’t plan to let me go. It never had. Once it had full control, it would wear my face forever. Use my body. Live my life.
And I’d be trapped in the darkness, screaming, for whatever eternity the nightmare had planned.
“You’re lying,” I said out loud. My voice echoed in the empty hold. “You’ve always been lying.”
The nightmare laughed, and then the scratching started again. Claws along the edges of my mind, digging in, tearing at the walls I’d built. Pain flashed through my whole body, white-hot and blinding. I curled in on myself, chains rattling, biting back the scream that wanted to tear its way out of my throat.
Lying? Me?The nightmare’s amusement was a physical weight pressing down on me.I’m the most honest thing in your head, little human. I’ve never pretended to be anything but what I am. Can you say the same?
The pain receded slowly, leaving me shaking and sweating on the cold floor. The nightmare retreated too, pulling back to that watching, waiting place it lived when it wasn’t actively tormenting me.
I lay there for a long moment, trying to catch my breath. Trying to find the will to keep fighting when every part of me wanted to give up.
Then I heard a sound. Soft footsteps. Someone who hadn’t left with the others.
I looked up to find Alyssa still standing there, watching me with those dark, ancient eyes.
“You should go,” I said. Or tried to say. It came out as more of a croak. “It’s not safe.”
“I know.”
She didn’t move.
“I can hear it thinking about you,” I managed. “Please. Please go.”
“No.”
She moved closer instead. Knelt down beside me on the dirty floor of the hold, looking so perfectly beautiful in this terrible place. This close, I could smell her too. Something floral and fierce, underlaid with the electric crackle of power.
My mate. The woman the bond kept whispering about, even through the nightmare’s interference. I’d never gotten to love her. Never gotten to meet her as a man that wasn’t already infected with this insanity.
Maybe I never would.
“Give me your hand,” she said.
“Alyssa, I don’t think that’s a good idea. The nightmare could...”
