Page 114 of Renegade Kingdom
“Because it is.” I sat across from her. “I can feel them straining, Alyssa. All five of them. I think they’re trying to merge and they can’t because they’re still functioning as separate channels. Five rivers running parallel instead of flowing together.”
She looked at me sharply. “You can feel that?”
“I feel everything.” It came out simpler and more honest than I’d intended. “And what I’m feeling right now is pressure.Building pressure. The magic of all five courts is trying to unify and the bonds are the mechanism, but they’re not woven together yet. It’s like...” I searched for the right words. “Like an orchestra where everyone’s playing their part but no one’s listening to anyone else. The music wants to be one thing and it can’t get there.”
Alyssa was quiet for a moment. Her fingers traced patterns on her knee, light flickering beneath the skin. “The night before Ice Falls,” she said slowly. “When we were all together. Before Damon. The magic was doing something then too. It was starting to merge. I could feel it building toward something.”
“And it didn’t. We didn’t have Damon.”
“We didn’t have Damon.” She repeated as she met my eyes. “You think we need to finish what started that night.” I could practically see her making the same connections in her head that I’d made myself.
“I think the bonds won’t hold at the scale you’re operating at unless they merge into something stronger. Something unified.” I held her gaze. “And I think you already knew that. You just hadn’t put the words to it yet.”
I watched her closely as her eyes seemed to search mine. “But how would you feel about that?” she asked carefully. “All of us together would mean you and Damon… with me… wouldn’t that be… awkward?”
An adorable blush stained the tops of her cheeks and I couldn’t help but smile as she tried to find the words to ask me the awkward question.
“Absolutely.” I laughed softly. Because yeah, Damon was my brother and we were close but we’d never beenthatclose. It was different with Ryder and Dean. “But we’ll figure it out. This is something we need to do, I can feel it deep inside myself that this is our path. And I’m weirdly more okay with the whole thingthan I ever thought I would be. I don’t know how to explain it other than saying Iwantthis to happen.”
She took a beat. Looking at me like she was waiting for me to suddenly admit the opposite. But I wouldn’t. I couldn’t even really figure it out myself other than say it just didn’t feel like a big thing. It wasn’t about me being with Damon. It was about giving Alyssa everything she needed, and there was something primal in the way that satisfied me and my lion.
“We should all talk about this properly,” she finally said. Her hand reached out to touch my cheek, and she looked at me with so much love in her eyes that I realised there was nothing I wouldn’t do to give her whatever she needed to survive this.
She exhaled softly and I could practically see the weight she was carrying on her shoulders. The last thing I wanted to do was give her more to bear, but there was something else we needed to talk about.
“There’s something else,” I said, because I owed her the full picture. “Dean. Something’s wrong with him. I don’t know what, but there’s a coldness in his bond that goes deeper than the ice magic. He’s carrying something he hasn’t told us.”
“I’ve noticed.” Her voice was soft. “He’s been different since the Fifth Court.”
“Since the scout,” I corrected. “He came back from dealing with that Endless and something had changed. He closed off. All the way off. I can feel him through the bond, but it’s not like it used to be, and it’s not because the bond is weak. It feels like he’s actively holding us back.”
Alyssa nodded slowly as a sad look crossed her face. “He’ll tell us when he’s ready.”
“And if he’s not ready before whatever we’re about to do?”
“Then we trust him.” She said it with the certainty of someone who’d made this decision a long time ago. “He has his reasons. He always does.”
I wanted to argue. The part of me that felt everything, that sensed the frost in Dean’s bond like a splinter under the skin, wanted to push. Wanted to pry open whatever box he’d sealed and let the cold out before it froze something vital.
But Alyssa was right. Dean’s way was Dean’s way, and trust wasn’t conditional.
“First we figure out if this is something everyone wants,” I told her instead. “Before the pressure becomes a problem. We can’t ignore this if it’s going to make you stronger.”
She reached out and squeezed my hand. Her light pulsed against my skin, warm, and somewhere deep in my chest the Summer fire rose to meet it. Not burning. Blooming. Two magics recognising each other and straining toward the same thing.
“Thank you,” she said. “For paying attention. For coming to me to talk about it, and looking out for us all, even if it might feel a bit awkward.”
“Of course. I’d do anything for you, Alyssa.” I leaned forward and kissed her because how could I possibly resist? “Although, just so we’re clear, I’m definitely not making out with my brother. And he can swing it in any direction as long as it’s not mine.”
She laughed softly, and finally started to look like she was finding some kind of peace again. “I’m sure he’ll be okay with not making out with you, but I’m not being responsible for where any of you swing anything,” she joked.
“And you shouldn’t have to be. You’re just going to lie back and let us fill you with magic, baby.” I whispered against her lips as I pushed her back onto the soft mattress.
Alyssa’s arms came around me, and I let my hands wander, seeking out her soft skin and savouring every one of her whimpers against my lips.
This was what we were fighting for.
Freedom. A future for everyone. But also a lifetime of happiness with this beautiful woman at our side.
