Page 43 of Edge of Steele
“I’m sure he understands.” Ryleigh picked up the book. “A lot of people in our family talked to a counselor when my cousin Thomas died. That helped too.”
“I’ve been going to see one, but I don’t know what to say to her.”
“Maybe pretend she’s a friend who wants to help. Like me.”
“You’re my friend?”
“Sure thing.”
She threw her arms around Ryleigh’s neck and held tight. Ryleigh hugged the skinny little girl back.
“This is a mom hug,” Avery whispered. “Soft and squishy. Not hard and solid like Finn.”
Ryleigh could see why this child would crave a soft mom hug, and Ryleigh was glad to provide it, but Ryleigh’s craving? One of those hard, solid hugs that Avery took a pass on. Ryleigh had to get a grip or being alone with him tonight could very well be dangerous to her heart.
10
Everything was riding on this talk with Ryleigh, and as the sun slowly dipped in the sky, Finn didn’t want to screw it up. But how should he handle it? He’d always struggled to convey the deep-seated attachment to his SEAL team. They were brothers. Even more than brothers. Men he trusted with his life. No questions asked. They had his back and would be there for him. Blood brothers wouldn’t always heed that call. SEAL brothers would never turn away.
Never.
Even now that he’d left the team, if he called, they would come running as soon as they could. But the only help he needed was with Avery accepting him. And what could the guys do with her that he hadn’t been able to do?
They were like him. Used to attacking a problem head on. Find the solution and implement it. Sometimes in seconds. But Avery? She was a take your time and go slow situation. Feel your way as you go. No set plan. No instructions. Nothing a guy could train for. Run ops practices for. All he could do was be patient and take cues from her and pray he wasn’t screwing things up. Screwing her up.
So far, he was failing. Or at least her response to him had said as much. But the kiss earlier?
He rested his fingers on his cheek, feeling for the emotion again.
Never had a kiss touched him so deeply or profoundly. He’d wanted to race after her and ask if they were good now. Solid. More like father and daughter than almost stranger and child.
“She’s off to sleep.” Ryleigh’s voice came from behind. “I think she’s going to open up to you now.”
“You think?” He made sure to extinguish the hope her comment brought.
Ryleigh sat next to him. “I told her you lost your parents. She said you hadn’t told her. I’m sorry if you didn’t want her to know.”
Oh, wow.“It’s not that I didn’t want her to know. I just never thought it was the right time to tell her.”
“I think it’ll help, but if not, again I’m sorry. I would never want to interfere in the great job you’re doing here.”
He snorted. “Like I’m succeeding.”
“You are. By letting her take her time in opening up and gaining her trust. I think you’re doing an amazing job.” She smiled at him.
A smile he didn’t deserve. Not yet. “I wish I could say the same about when I left you. I really botched that, didn’t I?”
Her smile fell. “You did.”
“I meant it when I said I would never leave the teams. I didn’t plan this, and I almost didn’t do it. Leave, I mean.”
“What made you change your mind?” She twisted to face him as if his answer was crucial.
He took a moment to organize his thoughts as explaining himself was likely one of the most important things he ever had to do. Failure was not an option. “I wanted to say no, but then I remembered the time I spent in foster care before social services found my estranged grandparents. My dad’s parents had died, but my mom’s were alive. Mom had a drug problem when she was young, and they eventually disowned her. She got clean and her act together, but didn’t want to see them. She understood on one level that they’d had to cut ties when she was using as she was toxic, but she still wished they’d given her more chances. So she had no desire to see them, and we never did. They didn’t even know my sister or I existed.”
Ryleigh arched a brow. “But you loved living with them and are still close to them.”
“Yeah. They were good to us.” He smiled at the memories. “I was a lot like Avery, but I had an extra chip on my shoulder. I resented them at first for what they did to my mom. But then we talked about it, and I eventually understood. They’d prayed every day that she would come back to them. The estrangement was two-sided, and I couldn’t blame them alone.” He shook his head. “And now, here I am in a similar situation. I’m at a loss for what to do.”
