Page 142 of The Fifth Life of Alicia
“Shut up and get my horse.” Kalon brushed him off and turned back to me. “Sir Otto will take you back.”
“Mhmm.” I touched my hand to his cheek. “Be safe.”
He covered my hand with his and kissed my palm. “As if anything here can harm me. Go back now.”
I smiled and stepped back.
I knew what he said was true.
So what was with the gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach?
Chapter Thirty-Two – Kalon
Master of Illusion
“You have to know that Mother hasn’t given up on making her my wife, and I’m not sure I have, either.”
Torin’s words whispered in my mind like a curse. That bastard had never been able to stand losing to me, whether it’d been in the line of succession for the throne or in a simple game of chess. He’d already stolen my place as the heir, and the only reason he never tried to take over my role in the military was because he was too weak to go to war.
He liked to say it was because the Crown Prince shouldn’t go to war, but everyone knew that was bullshit. After all, that position had been mine when I’d been sent to the front lines of the Great War, and nobody had held such a weak sentiment then.
In fact, they’d told me it was myduty.
I’d known he and his mother were cowards the moment I returned and was informed he was going to be named the new Crown Prince over me.
My father had been lucky to avoid a civil war over that decision. Despite Eudocia’s lobbying of the nobles in my absence, many of them still backed me as the next Emperor. Not only was I the descendent of two royal families, but in their eyes, I was a war hero. I’d fought alongside them and their sons and their armies, and I’d done my best to ensure the bodies of those who fell in battle were returned as quickly as possible.
While I’d been out there risking my life on the battlefield and commanding thousands of soldiers, Torin had been prancing about the capital at balls and banquets.
That was why I had to have Alicia Vermillion for myself.
Getting under the skin of Torin and Eudocia had been my only objective when I’d approached her at the spring ball two months ago. I knew Torin would have a difficult time dancing with her if I got there first because of his inferiority complex, and nothing brought me more pleasure than pissing them off.
At least that’d been the case before I’d danced with her.
She’d accepted my request despite her strong desire not to, and perhaps that was the moment my cold heart first wavered. She couldn’t hide her emotions, and her distaste of me had only grown with every fiery word she’d shot my way during our too-short time together. If she’d feared me then, she hadn’t let it show.
By the time I walked out of that ballroom, I knew I had to make her mine. There was no way I could allow a strong woman like her to fall into the clutches of Eudocia, not knowing how my father favoured Alicia.
And after Ezra Alansia told me Alicia had instructed him to send her a list of eligible bachelors to marry, I knew I had to exploit my father’s weakness and claim her for myself.
Because everyone was right. She was the perfect candidate to be Crown Princess, and when the time came where I had to take back what was rightfully mine, she would bemyCrown Princess. Nobody else’s.
Ultimately, though, I’d only ever wanted her as a trophy to lord over my brother and stepmother.
So, when had that changed?
When had she become so important to me that the mere thought of Torin wanting her made me want to rip him limb from limb? Who was she to have so expertly intertwined herself within every facet of my life?
When did the thought of losing her cut me to my very core?
Why did I feel like she was a piece of me I hadn’t known was missing?
Was this love? Was this obsession? Was there a difference between the two?
I didn’t know. I knew I needed her in a way I couldn’t begin to explain, that nobody else would ever invoke such strong feelings within me. It was like a deep-rooted compulsion to keep her close to me, even if it meant locking her away from the rest of the world.
Allie was the only person in this world who could wander into my office on her own whim, interrupt my meetings, and get away with it. There was nobody else who could talk back to me the way she did—there was nobody who would dare to, yet she did it as easily as breathing. She was the only one who could calm my rage with a mere touch.
