Page 79 of The Fifth Life of Alicia
Nor did he give her a magic stone.
Or ask her to eat dinner.
Orlaugh.
In fact, the version I knew would have gone out of his way to avoid all those things.
I knew my actions had changed things in this world, but how was it possible that a whole person had changed to such an extent? His demeanour was completely different, even when compared to the ball.
Then again, even our initial meeting had proceeded differently. In the book, Alicia had been the one to approach Kalon, and eagerly, too.
In this timeline, he’d approached me, and I’d been anything but interested.
I couldn’t wrap my head around it. What was so different now? Was it really just that the mere existence of my soul was enough to completely uproot the entire storyline?
Was it even truly a storyline anymore?
Maybe I had to remind myself that this wasn’t truly a fictional world. After all, the people here were real—they laughed, they cried, they got hurt. They died.
I might have first known it as a fictional place, but that didn’t mean it was any less real right now.
So, what would happen now?
In this real and ever-changing world, it stood to reason that the storyline I was so accustomed to wasn’t going to come to pass. Even if it did, it was unlikely to be in the way that I expected, a bit like this engagement to Kalon.
It’d happened as it was meant to, but the events leading up to it changed.
Maybe the big events in the plot would stay the same, but how they happened would be different.
I couldn’t get drawn in by Kalon, even if he was far more charming than I’d ever believed he could be.
That was the problem.
He was charming.
For a moment in my office today, I’d felt like me. Not the Lady Alicia Vermillion version of me, but Allie. As we’d gone back and forth with our light banter, I’d almost forgotten that he was royalty, and I was nobility.
I’d just felt… comfortable.
It was a tremendously dangerous feeling. If my death was linked to marrying Kalon, then the last thing I needed was to feel any kind of comfort in being around him.
However, I still had to survive to the autumn ball for Lillia’s debut. I’d been determined not to attend, but I needed to see for myself if he would fall in love with her at first sight.
If he did, I would continue with my original plan. In that case, getting along with him well would only be beneficial to me, and hadn’t I planned that anyway? To delay the wedding while becoming his friend?
But what if he didn’t fall in love with her?
I buried myself under the covers and tucked them up under my chin.
Indeed—what if he didn’t fall for Lillia at first sight? Then what?
I yanked the sheets over my head so I was cocooned in them. I couldn’t guarantee that Kalon would fall for Lillia, not now so many things had changed from what I knew. Was it okay for me to think that it was a possibility?
Could I act on the assumption that he’d fall for her and prepare for that outcome, but still hold onto the idea that he may not?
After all, I liked it here. I hadn’t been outside the castle yet, but inside the walls, I was… I didn’t know if happy was the right word to use, but I didn’t hate it. I didn’t reallywantto run away from here.
The food was good, and the kitchen maids always snuck me an extra snack when one of the maids brought me afternoon tea. The household staff were kind and thoughtful, and I was slowly learning more about my new home every time we spoke. Despite the rocky start, the knights had warmed to me, and I enjoyed working with Sir Hayes on laying the foundations for the monster attack relief fund. Even Bella and Annie had settled in well, and Annie looked like all the stress she’d carried around in the capital had lifted.
