Page 1 of The Fifth Life of Alicia
Prologue
The Department of Reincarnation
“You’re dead.”
I blinked at the ridiculously handsome ethereal being standing at the golden podium before me. “Eh?”
He lowered his rounded glasses, tilting his head forwards. Golden eyes peered down at me over the top of the rims. “You asked me what happened. You died, dear. You’re dead.”
All right.
Okay.
Yeah.
Sure.
I mean, my last memorywasof a pair of headlights hurtling towards me when I was stopped at a red light, so that checked out.
“What?” I asked, still staring at the figure who would be a silver fox if he weren’t bathed in, well, gold. “Did that bastard car kill me?”
“If you’re referring to the inebriated gentleman who crashed into your car and turned it into a tin can, then yes, you are correct.”
“Whoa, hey, hold up.” I held up my hands. “Tin can? Have a little empathy. I just died, Grandpa. Go gentle on me.”
He sniffed. “My apologies, dear.”
“Um, did he really turn my car into a tin can?” I was kind of pissed at that. I’d worked hard to pay off that car, and I loved it. My Kia was too pretty to be turned into a tin can.
“Would you like to see?” Handsome shiny man waved his hand as if he were doing me a favour.
I glared at him. “Wouldyouwant to see if you were me?”
He cleared his throat. “Ahem. I suppose not. Sorry, this isn’t really my department. I’m only here because the angel who usually mans this desk has the flu.”
I didn’t know angels could get the flu.
Who knew the afterlife was so educational?
At least I was assuming this was the afterlife. I was apparently dead, after all, and I couldn’t imagine where else I would be. It was far too welcoming to be Hell.
It was mildly alarming how accepting of all this I was. Perhaps that alone was an indicator that he was telling the truth—usually, I was far more sceptical, yet here I was, weirdly at peace with the whole thing.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not like my day can get much worse if I really am dead.” I cast my gaze around at the stark white room I was in. It gave the vibes of a hospital throwing up in a science classroom, except everything was sort of… glowing. “Not to be rude, but who are you? And where am I?”
“Oh, goodness. I’m sorry, I should have started with that.”
“Nah, it’s fine. I was a bit hysterical when I got here a while ago.”
“Understandable. You just died, after all.”
Thanks for the reminder, handsome shiny man.
“Ahem.” He elegantly laid his hand on his chest and, tilting his head to the side, smiled gently at me. “I suppose you know me by the name of God.”
Oh, good. I’d sworn in the presence of God himself.
Wait.
