Page 57 of Don't Bite the Botanist
He was done being rational. It might take him dying, but he was finally ready to live.
Chapter thirty-one
Tressa
Since meeting Ethan, all Tressa wanted was to turn him into a vampire. It was the driving force behind everything she said and every move she made.
She just hadn’t realized how traumatic it would be to actually watch him die.
She should have let one of the others take his life. Somebody else should have sat with him as his blood slowly drained out of his body and into the bags that would save it for later. Somebody else should have endured his painful silence and cold shoulder. Somebody else should have been surrounded by his intoxicating smell as his eyes sluggishly opened and closed, becoming glassy and unfocused.
So yeah, maybe it was a little masochistic for her to refuse help, since any one of the cadre could have at least stayed with him until he was almost gone, but she hadn’t been able to bring herself to ask. He was her mate, whether he wanted it or not, and it was her duty to see him through the turn. No matter how much it hurt.
Plus, it had to be her essence that initially changed him. If there was one rule you didn’t break, it was the ‘vampires are onlyallowed to turn one human’ rule. And never against their will.
At least she didn’t have to worry about any fallout from the higher ups. She’d seen what happened to Saiden when he ended up on the Ruling Coalition’s radar for changing Cora without her consent. Avoiding that was possibly the only silver lining to the entire fucked up situation.
But it didn’t matter how willing Ethan was. It still killed her soul to inject the poison into his veins.
The minutes after that had been the longest of her life, watching as the cloud of violet smoke emerged from her body and entered Ethan’s. It should have been a beautiful moment—the connection that was being solidified, like she was sharing a piece of her soul with him. Instead, he had barely allowed her to place a hand on his, the smallest amount of skin contact possible, turning their life-altering moment into something cold and clinical.
She would never forget the look in his eyes—the sheer amount of betrayal and hatred lingering in those stony gray depths. He died still looking at her like that.
And Tressa hadn’t even been able to hold him through it.
Tressa dropped into the chair beside Baylin, beyond worn out from the last eight hours of maintaining contact with Ethan while her essence leaked out of her and into him. It wasn’t until he was mostly transformed that she could take a break and let Saiden take over turning duty. As long as the majority of the essence used to transform himcame from her, that was all that mattered. Saiden could share a slow leak to keep the transition working while she took a break.
She should have slept, but every time she closed her eyes, she saw Ethan staring at her. Accusing her.
No, sleep wouldn’t be in her future for a while.
So even though it was very late at night, or possibly very early in the morning, she had trudged over to Baylin’s room for an update.
Her cousin pushed back in his chair and propped his feet up on the long table that held his bank of monitors. “It’s like 2 a.m., Tress. You could have knocked. What if I was sleeping? Or had a girl in here?”
Tressa let out a mirthless laugh. “Baylin, when was the last time you had a girl anywhere?”
His right eye twitched. Subtle, but she caught it. Before she could probe him about a love life that apparently did exist, he said, “I take it you’re here to check on the status of Renata?”
“Yeah,” she replied, placing her feet on the table next to Baylin’s. “Ethan’s still out, but Saiden offered to take over. It’s almost time to hook him up to the IV and return his blood, but I don’t exactly need to be there for that.”
Baylin nodded, giving her a sympathetic look. “I wish I had good news to offer, but I got nothing. I don’t know how Renata does it, but she’s managed to avoid every camera possible. I hate to say it, but I have no idea where she is.”
Tressa slid farther down in the chair and let her head roll back. Her eyes landed on a spider crawling across the tile ceiling, and she simply watched it for a moment, envious of its simple life. Maybe the rogues had the right idea about eternity. Shake off those pesky notions about humanity and focus on the basics.
Hunt. Kill. Feed.
Forever was a long time to drown in your emotions.
Rubbing at her tired eyes, she dismissed that unsettling thought. No matter what happened with Ethan, she was still her. Still Tressa. And she didn’t give up that easily, regardless of what that rogue bitch seemed to think.
“What about Ethan’s research?” she asked. “Have you had any luck on figuring out why it’s such a danger to us?”
Baylin shook his head, then reached under his desk for a water bottle covered in overlapping stickers of metal band logos.
Tressa stared blankly as he took a long pull from it, unable to remember the last time her cousin drank anything that wasn’t chock-full of either hemoglobin or a tragic amount of caffeine. Then her nose registered the scent, and she glared at him.
“I still haven’t cracked their firewall,” he said after a few more deep gulps, ignoring the pointed look she gave him. “Until Ethan wakes up and decides to share, I got nothing. I’ve researched the history of the company, the other scientists who died in the fire, and even Ethan himself. I can’t find any ties to the vampire community that might explain it.”
