Page 81 of Blue Norther
And then a sharp gasp from Colt filled the silence. My heart stumbled in my own chest, relief flooding my entire body as I felt our son roll his bottom beneath Colt’s hand.
“He moved.” His voice was thick with emotion. “That was him, wasn’t it? I felt him move just then.”
“Yeah, he moved.”
Colt grabbed my hand, lifting it to his lips. “Thank you, God.”
But I knew better. One movement wasn’t enough. And without a window to look in my womb, or some magic power to know what was going on in there at all times, I was left with my mind spinning every horrible, tragic ending possible.
I closed my eyes and laid my head back against the seat. Colt never took his hand off my belly, but the warmth of his touch turned cold as the claws of panic dug further and further into my body.
The truck slowed and I heard Colt slide out of the driver’s side, but still, my eyes stayed glued shut. I couldn’t say how much time passed, or even if we were at the hospital. All I knew was that I couldn’t open my eyes.
Cold air swirled around me as Colt opened my door.
“Come on, Vi.” His hands slipped around mine and squeezed before moving to my seat belt. I heard the click of the release mechanism, felt the pressure lift off my hips and chest, but I still couldn’t open my eyes.
The truck rocked and I was suddenly surrounded by Colt’s scent. That cologne I’d bought him for the first year we were married. Warm and spiced and in every good memory I had of our marriage together.
“Violet, just let go.”
“I can’t.” My voice came out broken, burnt. Acrid with the pain my mind was telling me we were about to endure yet again. Only this time, I would drown.
“Darlin’, please. Screw it. Just cry. One minute. Scream if you have to. Hit me. I’m right here. Whatever your mind is locked in on, let it out. Because I’m going to carry you through those doors, and we’re going to face whatever comes together. You got that?”
His words cracked my heart wide open. The next thing I knew, my fists were wrapped tightly in Colt’s shirt as I pressedmy face up against his heart. The first sob ripped from my throat and then I just couldn’t stop.
“No matter what, Vi, you’ll be alright. I’ll make sure of it. I’m not leaving this time. I’ll always make sure you’re safe. I’ll always make sure you’re okay.” He whispered reassuring words over and over again as I fell apart in the hospital parking lot. And as much as that should have been my undoing, as much as my face should have flamed hot with the heat of embarrassment, it didn’t. I slowed my breathing, my chest shuddering a few times before I was actually able to see through my slowing tears.
Colt reached up and swiped his thumbs under my eyes. “Need another minute?”
“No. We need to go in and check on him.”
Colt nodded, his hands slipping behind my back and under my legs.
We were inside the hospital in no time. Colt wanted to carry me up to Labor and Delivery himself, but the triage nurse in the Emergency Room wouldn’t hear of it. So, down into the wheelchair I went. I grabbed onto Colt’s hand, squeezing as a contraction took me by surprise.
“Vi?”
“It hurts,” I groaned.
By the time we made it upstairs, I’d ridden it out, the muscles in my belly releasing their strangle hold on my breath. And ten minutes later, I was settled in a bed, scratchy hospital gown on, with wires and monitors wrapped around my belly.
Our son’s heartbeat was there. They’d picked it up easily enough. And I couldn’t stop staring at the screen that was tracking it. An hour passed. Then another. Watching. Waiting. Monitoring. Breathing through contractions as they came and went. Trying to get comfortable. Trying to not let my mind spiral.
“He’s doing okay, Vi.” Colt picked up my hand and lifted it to my lips. The other hand already had an IV in it, hooked up to some sort of medication to reverse the effects of my blood thinners. The nurse had explained its importance, but I was so numb I hadn’t really been able to absorb the information.
“He has a heartbeat,” I corrected. There could be a million things that were going on inside of me, and I wouldn’t be able to see any of them.
“He’s going to be okay. You both are.”
I shook my head. “Something is wrong, Colt. I can feel it. It’s not just my anxiety. I mean…maybe it is a little. But you always told me to trust what my body was telling me. I’m listening, and it’s screaming that something bad is about to happen.”
“What can I do?” he asked. “How can I make it better?”
“You got us here. You’re here with us.”
“I’m never leaving. You couldn’t pay me to leave. Probably why that bastard knows he’ll have to kill me first if he wants to have you.”
