Page 7 of Blue Norther
God.We’re almost there. What a perfect metaphor for every facet of my life at the moment. I was almost to my hometown, almost back to the cabin I'd grown up in. And at thirty-six weeks into my miracle pregnancy at forty, I was nearly to the finish line where I’d hold my son in my arms. For the first time in my life, I’d kept my baby safe in my body for more than twelve weeks.
Safe. That was my job as his mom. So many other babies had been failed by my body, but not this one. Which is why I had to get out of the city. I had to leave my apartment, my favorite bagel shop, and my friends…I had to keep my baby safe.
My eyes drifted to the folder in the passenger seat. It wasn’t going to be enough. To find who was out there…to keep me safe. But I had to try.
Another kick reminded me I wasn’t just parked at the gas station for no reason. My tank was sitting below half-full, but with just over an hour until I made it to Silver Springs, I didn’t want to end up arriving and leaving myself on empty. Aside from a quick stop at any open grocery store to fill up the cupboards, I had no plan to head into town any time soon. No real need to announce my return.
I huffed as I hauled myself out of the driver’s seat. Luckily, I’d already been in touch with the OB at St. Clare’s, the small hospital I’d deliver the baby at in Bell Ridge. It was at least a thirty minute drive from my parents’ house, but first time babies were often slow to arrive, and I was planning on an induction at thirty nine weeks, anyway. I liked having a predictable schedule and sticking to it.
“Hey, pretty mama. You need some help over there?”
My hand immediately left my belly. I squared my shoulders and forced myself not to shrink back. There were good men in the world, and I probably looked ridiculous trying to fiddle with the pump.
I turned and gave a quick wave to the man walking towards me. Tall. Slender. White tank top under a flannel jacket with jeans slung low across his hips. He flicked the cigarette in his hand before bringing it back up to his lips. If I wasn’t careful, and he got to close, I was pretty sure I’d throw up all over him. The baby hated the smell of smoke.
“I’m all set. It was just a tricky handle.”
“Why don’t you let me help you with that? Where’s your man? He has you out pumping your own gas while you’re cooking his baby. Now, that’s just not right.”
My skin pebbled. “I’m perfectly fine. That’s twice now I’ve said it. Are you going to take the hint or do I need to get loud?”
“I wouldn’t mind hearing you scream out my name.”
The older I got, the more I hated men. Truly. They didn’t exist in the real world like they did in the novels I wrote. When I was writing a male lead, there were so many female-centered characteristics that made him likable. But not these real world assholes. They just wanted to take from women. And take, and take, and take. It’s why once I’d found the love of my life in seventh grade, I didn’t let him go.
Until keeping him, depriving him of true happiness, would have killed me.
But there hadn't been a man in my life since. And this asshole in front of me was exactly why. Because no one would ever be Colt.
“What a disgusting thing to say to a woman.”
I wasn’t sure how the hell I was going to play things as the creep continued to walk closer to me. Thankfully, and honestly not a minute too soon, a state trooper squad car pulled up to the pump behind mine.
“Ma’am, everything alright?” he asked, probably because I was staring a hole through him. I looked back in front of me, but the jerk who was just standing there was nowhere to be found.
“Everything’s fine. Thank you.” I waved.
After filling my tank, I didn’t dare walk inside to use the restroom. No. I was back in the car and spent another hour praying I wouldn’t pee myself on the way to Silver Springs.
Right as my audio book finished playing, I was greeted with the familiar roads of Clarence County. My heart picked up as I pulled into the cabin’s driveway. There was a big black truck sitting off to the side, and the lights were on in the cabin. The sight made me want to cry. My dad warned me there might be someone here opening the house up for me. It was nice that he wanted to make sure everything was working, and I knew he was worried about me being on my own with just weeks left in my pregnancy, but I also just wanted to get out of these clothes, soak in the big tub I knew was waiting for me upstairs, and crawl into bed for the next week.
Grabbing my phone from the cup holder, I sent off a text to my dad.
I’m here. Looks like the person you hired to open the cabin for me is here, too. I’ll let you know how they did.
Before slipping it into my jacket, I looked at the message that came in from my business manager.
Ryan:
Did you make it to Smallville, USA yet? Population’s what? You and a raccoon?
He’d sent it an hour ago, just after I’d gotten back on the road from that nightmare of a gas station. Served him right, having to wait for my reply.
Very funny. I did in fact just make it. The raccoon says hi, and they can’t wait to meet you when you come to visit me and the baby.
Stepping out of the car was, as always, an extra hard task. I gripped theoh-shithandle and the door frame, hoisting myself unceremoniously from the driver’s seat.
And then, as my heart slowed and the breeze greeted me, I let my eyes drift shut, the sun warming my skin as it filtered through the tall trees surrounding the place I once called home.
