Page 45 of Blue Norther
“Vi?”
“Hawk and Jessie wanted to talk to you about something, anyway. Head back up to the house. I’ll be there in a minute.” She stood on her tiptoes, pressing a kiss to my cheek.
My brother faded away as I stared into her eyes, fighting every urge I had to slip my hands around her waist and pull her in for a real kiss. One that I could pour my heart and soul into. One that would show her she was right where she belonged. Onethat made her feel the love I was ready to share with her all over again.
“What was that for?” I asked, the warmth of her lips lingering on my skin. Fuck, I loved that feeling. I’dmissedthat feeling.
“For trusting me. For standing up for me. For not hating me.” Her voice caught on those last words.
“Never. I could never, ever hate you.” But I knew my brother could. I dropped her hand, turning towards him. “You stay the fuck over there and listen to whatever she has to say. Don’t take a step towards her. Don’t be an asshole. If she walks back up to the house with a single fucking tear in her eye, your sore jaw will be the least of your worries.”
Violet nodded, her hand coming out to squeeze my arm as I walked out the door. But I couldn’t leave her. I had to hear what Beau was going to say—what she was going to say—so I stopped walking as soon as my shadow made it out of the doorway.
“I’m sorry, Beau,” Violet said softly.Shit.I took a step back towards the barn, my ass hitting the wood of the building as I tried to press my body flat against it.
“It’s not me you need to apologize to.” My brother sounded irritated.
“Yes. It is. I owe every single person in this family an apology. I was so wrapped up in my own grief, in my own pain and failure, that I couldn’t see beyond that. To any of you. To Colt. And you were here when I couldn’t be. You kept him going. You helped him through. The very least I owe you is an apology.”
Beau sniffed. “You don’t know how bad it got, Vi. He’s loved you every day of his life since he was twelve goddamn years old. He’s never stopped, not for one single breath. And he would never admit how bad it got, because on all the days when one of us had to go drag him out of bed and force him to eat something, force him to get fresh air, to move his body, he still talked aboutyou. He talked about protecting you from the painhe caused you by not being able to give you a child. So I don’t need your apology.I don’t fucking want it. I’m happy that you’re getting what you want now, but I have to protect him. He won’t survive when he finds out the truth—that you’ve come back for protection, or support, or whatever the fuck it is you need, and the only way you knew to get that from him was to tell him this kid in your belly is his.”
“This is his baby, Beau. I know it’s wild and it’s weird, but this is his child. When I walked away, it wasn’t because I didn’t love Colt any more. He’s beenthe only one for me since I was twelve, too.I have never stopped loving him. Do you know what it’s like to know in your soul that you’ve walked away from the greatest gift life ever gave you? To have to leave so that maybe, just maybe, that person who is everything to you will be able to go on and have their own happiness?”
“You want me to pat you on the back for breaking his heart because you thought maybe one day he’d find someone else? You’re not a martyr, Violet! And you’re not family. Not anymore.”
She didn’t respond right away. The hair on the back of my neck stood as I heard her clear her throat. “I know that you want to make me into a villain, Beau. That you want to have someone to hate for the heartache he went through, and that’s fine. I deserve to carry that. But this baby is his family. His son is your family, too. I just wanted to say that I’ll stay out of your way now, and after the baby’s born. When he’s with Colt, you’re more than welcome to have whatever relationship with your nephew that you’d like to have. And because it’s painful for you that I’m back, I’ll stand off to the side. I know how important it is to Colt to have his family by his side. I want that for him. I want that for you, too. And for my son.”
I heard her walking towards me, but never in a million years did I expect her to walk out of the barn with her head heldhigh. She closed her eyes for a second before turning towards the house. And that’s when I saw her realize I was still standing there, waiting for her.
There was no doubt in my mind an argument was coming, which is why I was so shocked when she walked over and wrapped her arms around me.
“Vi?”
“You stayed.” Violet’s words were muffled against my chest. “You weren’t supposed to hear all that.”
I saw how flushed her cheeks were as she walked out of the barn, so I didn’t hesitate to put my fingers back through her hair, lifting it off her neck so the night breeze could cool her down. “I’m so proud of you. You never would have said any of that to my family before.”
“It didn’t feel good.”
“But it needed to happen.”
“Yeah.” She shrugged her shoulders. “I’m really tired. Do you think we could head back home now?”
Home.Not my house. Buthome.
My finger slipped under her chin, tilting her face towards mine. “Of course. Want me to carry you?” I teased.
Her smile returned as she rolled her eyes at me. “Don’t even try. I’m perfectly fine on my own two feet.”
Violet
Colt and I had settled into a comfortable routine over the last few days. He didn’t even try to get me to stay at home, just smiled as I got up every morning when his alarm went off—which was always at an ungodly hour—and I always felt his eyes lingering on me as I went into the bathroom to get ready.
The Sheriff’s Department has actually been the perfect place for me to work. I wasn’t alone with my thoughts any more. Colt was there, forcing me to take breaks, still giving me my injections, and distracting me occasionally with a question about the pregnancy or the baby.
And at the end of the day, he’d slip his hand over mine, and we’d stay like that until we got back to the ranch. The little touches—his hand on mine, a grasp of my elbow to steady me, his fingers brushing over where the baby last kicked—felt more intimate than sharing a bed together.
Which had become the norm. I couldn’t deny him the time with his hands on my belly, enjoying our son’s midnight shenanigans. And selfishly, I couldn’t deny myself the relief that washed over me every time his arms wrapped around me. I knew I was safe, and that was something I hadn’t felt in a very long time.
