Page 40 of Blue Norther
Striding back over to the desk, I removed the instantly ready ice pack from the first aid kit, snapping the mechanism inside and shaking it until it cooled. I tsked at Vi, who looked like she was getting ready to pull up the waistband of her pants.
“Wait one second. I read you could put a cold compress on it to help with the burning. Try this for a minute or two.”
She laughed, taking the compress from my hands. “That’s so sweet of you, but I don’t think I should just stand here in your office with my belly exposed like this. What if someone walks in?”
“They’ll knock first, and unless it’s an emergency, it can wait five minutes while I make sure you’re okay.”
She didn’t argue again. “You did a great job.”
“I’m surprised you couldn’t feel my fingers shaking. I don’t know how you’ve done that to yourself this entire time.”
“I wasn’t very successful in the beginning. Something about the first trimester…trying to do the injections would always set off my gag reflex. So I’d be gagging the entire time I was trying to hold still while doing the injection. I’m sure I was quite the ridiculous sight.” She placed the cold pack against her belly and pulled her pants up around it, tucking the sweatshirt back intoplace. “I actually almost passed out a few times. Had to lay on my bathroom floor for a good ten minutes before I could get up.”
Her eyebrows shot up as a grumble bounced around my chest. “I should have been there.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“No. No. No more apologizing to me about it.”
“I don’t have to share?—”
“Stop. Full stop, Vi. I want to hear every story. I want to know every detail. I told you already that I want you to tell me it all so I can write it into my memories like I was there when it all happened. But I don’t think I can control the anger I feel towards myself for not being there to help. I know it’s not rational, but I feel it.”
She stood up from the desk, closing the distance between us. Her hair was pulled back into a messy bun, little strands poking out here and there. Her freckles were still out in full force, like she’d just come inside after sitting under the sun. God, I wanted to kiss each and every one.
Her hand reached up, cupping my cheek. This felt like a dream, but if it was one, I never want to wake up.
“How about this? I agree to stop apologizing, and you agree to absolve yourself of guilt that has no right to weigh you down.”
“Deal,” I agreed. “Should we seal it with a kiss?”
Violet tipped her head back and laughed. I hadn’t noticed before, but she had the most beautiful lines in the corners of her eyes. Smile lines. Fuck, I could stare at them for hours.
“Keep wearing those glasses of yours around me, and I don’t think I’ll be able to say no to that offer.”
Violet
Why had I agreed to this?
I was solely focused on the sound of our footsteps trekking across the gravel of Colt’s parents’ driveway, trying desperately to stop my mind from spiraling—it wasn’t working. Of course, I was nervous when he told me we were having dinner with his family, but I forced it to the back of my mind until I remembered I had no nice clothes, and all of my makeup was still at my house.
I might have cried really hard in the truck as we left his work, and poor Colt looked so scared. As soon as I told him I was freaking out about looking absolutely disheveled wearing his clothes to a family dinner with people I hadn’t seen in years, he took pity on me. We drove straight to the discount department store on the edge of Bell Ridge and I found a sweet little green sundress that actually fit over my belly. It almost touched the ground, too, so that was nice. I managed to grab a cute cream cardigan, a tube of mascara, and a round brush. Colt swore he had a hair dryer at the house I could use when we got back.
And then more tears came when I saw it was the hairdryer I had left behind when I moved out. He’d kept it in the same bathroom drawer and everything.
My hand smoothed the fabric over my belly as we walked closer to the house. I didn’t care if this was the only thing I had to wear for the rest of my pregnancy. It made me feel pretty, and that was a blessing.
“What’s wrong?” Colt’s hand squeezed mine as he stopped walking.
“Nothing’s wrong? Why would you think anything is wrong?”
His eyebrows shot up to his hat, and he chuckled. “You haven’t ever been this quiet before in your life.”
I pressed the fingers Colt wasn’t holding directly into the small of my back and sighed. “I’ll have you know, I like being quiet these days. Quiet is my favorite.”
“Not buying it, darlin’.”Christ. Every time that cowboy drawl came out, it made my whole damn body flush. Who the hell was I kidding? Just because I was carrying his baby, just because we were about to tell his whole family about it, didn’t mean Colt and I would find our way back to each other. We were two people with a past who would love our child no matter what, and I needed to hold onto that.
“Okay, I know you think I’m dramatic when it comes to checking in with you, but you are actually starting to worry me. Are you okay?” The gentle touch of his fingers on my elbow did absolutely nothing to chill the full hormonal flush that was creeping over my skin.
