Page 25 of Lie with Me
“You like to watch me use my mouth, huh?”
I roll my eyes.Maybe a little.
CJ alternates feeding himself and me until all eight oysters are gone. I enjoy the last one the most, now appreciating the appeal.
Dinner continues smoothly as we each allow a little more freedom for our personalities to come out. I find out how much CJ loves music and the theater and that he has two bachelor degrees, one in computer technology and another in business. Above all though, I realize how much he can make me laugh. I think it’s what drew me to him in the first place.
The first time we met had been under such dire circumstances. Ellie was lying in a hospital bed and no one knew if she was going to wake up. My dad was a mess, my mom was a rock, and I was just me, alone trying to figure out exactly what I should do with myself. I think CJ could sense my confusion, for lack of a better word. He was always hanging around the hospital, showing up at the strangest times to check on Kayne and my parents and me. I remember standing outside Ellie’s roomcompletely out of sorts. My sister could die and there was nothing I could do to help. I felt worthless. That’s when CJ showed up. He just seemed to appear with his laid-back energy and inviting smile. He offered to buy me coffee. Suggested I take a walk and get some air. That day, our acquaintanceship grew. He became someone I could lean on. It was purely platonic. An older brother hanging out with his younger sister. It’s where the nickname shortcake came from. He preoccupied me, and I welcomed the distraction. It wasn’t until two years later at Ellie and Kayne’s wedding that our relationship changed. I don’t exactly know how it happened or when. It was just different the second time around. Maybe it was because I was older? Maybe it was because the circumstance that brought us back together was a joyous one. I don’t know. I can just tell you that when I got off the plane and he was there to pick my family and me up for the second time, the attraction was instant. Like two lost souls reconnecting in the dark of night.
“So . . .” The easy conversation continues. “If you could pursue your dream career instead of just settling, what would you do?” CJ asks as our dinners are placed in front of us.
“Be an international pop superstar.”
“Really?” CJ considers this. “I could see it. You have the hair for it.”
“At least I have that going for me.” I cut a piece of my salmon and take a taste. Holy crap, it’s delicious.
“You have more going for you than just your hair, and we both know it.”
“Maybe.” I shrug, trying to eat as ladylike as possible when all I really want to do is devour this fish like it’s my last meal.
“Can I hear you sing sometime?”
I pause with the fork by my mouth.
“You want to hear me sing?”
“Sure, why not? Maybe the song you have tattooed on your thigh?”
“I don’t think I would do it justice, but I’ll sing for you sometime.” I fiddle with the flower in my hair. I’ve sung in frontof an audience plenty of times, but singing for CJ gives me riotous butterflies. “And I don’t really want to be an international pop superstar, but performing on Broadway might be fun.”
“Then why don’t you go for it?”
“A multitude of factors that play into the answer to that. You said having a family is a major commitment. So is being a Broadway performer. Rehearsal and shows would cut into my schooling. It’s not feasible for me right now.”
“What about when you finish school?” he asks simply.
“Possibly, but if I get a job right away, which I’m trying to do, Broadway will always be just a dream.”
CJ drops his fork, looks down at his plate, and frowns.
“Tara, I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but I don’t think you should cut yourself short on your dreams.”
“I’m not. I’m just trying to be mature and levelheaded.”
“I get that. But sometimes being mature and levelheaded leaves you with regrets in the future. I’m just saying, think about it. I would hate for you to look back at your life and wonder what if.”
“I don’t know if I am in a position to do that. But I will think about it.”
“It’s all I can ask. You know what I always say.”
“What’s that?”
“Life’s too short not to have sex or eat chocolate cake.” He winks.
I laugh.
I’m beginning to believe he’s right.
